40 years ago, on this very day, my little 17 year old brain was spinning with the potential, probability, prospect... & risks of my life moving forward. I understood that I was gay, but I was determined not to be tragic. I dated girls & I had asked the very funny, fiery & fine Teresa to the Spring Prom. I came out to her that evening while making out in my 1961 Jeep Willis. Teresa was so traumatized by my announcement that she still won't speak to me, refusing to acknowledge me at our 25th high school reunion, & declining my offer to be friends on Facebook last year.
I had just received the intoxicating communique that I had been chosen as a company member at The Coeur d' Alene Summer Theatre, the top notch summer stock theatre in the PNW. This would be my first professional job, performing my special stage magic in 4 musicals in repertory.
I understood that to be gay I needed to get out of Spokane & my parents had offered to pay for college. I got an atlas & a length of string & I made an acutely arbitrary choice of Boston College because it was so far away, but they still spoke English (sort of, I was to discover). This weekend, 40 years ago, I sent off my application.
To steel myself for the excitement & endangerment of what was ahead, I locked myself in my bedroom, I smoked a joint & I put this single on my stereo:
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