Music Sunday!

Hello all! Tomorrow means back to work (well for most of you, not me, I'm still on "hiatus!") but my second interview is Tuesday so this may be my last free Sunday for awhile. So I'm thinking on Sundays when families are having picnics and people are going to church and men with big bellies are watching football...well, I'm thinking pics of hot men may not be appropriate. So, how about music videos of the latest and greatest (and I'll try not to play mainstream Beyonce shit!), oh...and hey, if they have hot men in them...oh well...it's still music! Today though, is an animation of a song I love called Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John. It kind of reminds me of the 80's and yes I am an 80's child (Yaz, DM, Communards, Real Life etc.) alternative, new wave, mod 80's...that was me. Hmm...maybe I'll have an 80's day too. Which reminds me, can someone please tell me how to stream music on my blog? Or maybe stream is not the word, but be able to play music on my blog? Thanks for any help! have a great night! ;-) peace

Hello Everyone...

...my hiatus is coming to an end soon. First of all, my dream to become a bartender may be put on hold. I have a second interview with Intel this coming week, so I was thinking I may have to put bartending school off. I've had a great week, it's almost over and I am sad to say that I will miss being in the sun in the middle of the day! I hope everyone had a great week and an even better weekend! ;-) peace
oh, so um, I feel like being a bit risque...so enjoy! I may make this a "weekend" thing. Let me know what you think.

Mo'nique

Ok, I love me some Mo'Nique...big time. I just saw her special "I could have been your been Cellmate" and it was great. She was funny as shit and yet I still cried seeing them women in prison. Check it out, it's worth it...Mo'Nique

;-) peace

I'm kind of on vacation!

So I decided to put bartending school off for a week and just chill this week, it has been great. I am doing nothing, I'm also finding I'm not the type of person to just do nothng, but I am 1 disc away from finishing the second season of Charmed! :-) I've been to the gym, a drive in the hills, casino, a movie etc. I'm getting bored now! lol
hope everyone is doing well! ;-) peace

musical intoxication

This weekend is about Misa Criolla with the exceptional James River Singers, led by Jeff Riehl. I began my musical journey years ago at WCC with Dr. Riehl as my conductor and professor. We have both grown as musicians and performers over the years. His knowledge, skill and presence are worthy of many "notes".
The performance last night was an intoxicating experience for me. I was immersed in an expedition seeking excellence. I attempted to find my "next level" experience by making music with a group of wonderful collaborators. It was a privilege and an honor.

As I sang the role of the "tenor" I loved the call and response interactions with the choir. The beauty of the choral tapestry and the energy of the percussion and strings driving was wonderfully immersive. I loved the stress of entrances and cutoffs and rhythms. Was I right, or not.. how did we handle it? The duple/triple section in the middle of the Credo.. The sustained beauty and line of the Sanctus. The energy, nerves and anticipation leading up to the last note where I would have to "float" that high A. Overall, I was struck by the approachability of the work for the audience. It strikes the balance between reverence and liturgy masterfully.

My world seems Bi-Polar.. the experiences on the stage have so little correlation with my daily experiences at Cap1. The common denominator is me. And yet, there is so much in common if I take the time to look. The pressure to perform, the desire to be respected and revered both by "audience" and "peers". The currency at work is money, the currency of our performance is beauty and elegance/music. Both are achieved by relationships and actions filtered through: Passion, Discipline and Application.

My tools are my music, my family, my community, and my love for my fellow man. My method is constantly changing. My goal is set.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (The Message)
The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

One more day...

...I'm not sure if I mentioned but tomorrow I will have no job. This assignment ends on Friday. While I am sad to go because I have made some very nice friends here, I need a break. 7mos. with no time off, I need a few days. So my next move? Bartending School. I mean why not? I have always wanted to try it and I love talking to people and if you get a good gig, the money can be great. So yeah, bartending college here I come. Of course if I don't like it, I can always go back in the office. If you've been regular reader you will see that I really like the blue collar work, last year I was so excited to become a waiter/server and I really enjoyed it! That was back in S. Dakota and I had so much fun! The thing is, well it wasn't as lucrative as I thought. I have champagne tastes but it's hard on a beer budget. So we'll give this a go round and see what comes of it. Hope everyone has had a good week so far and even better rest of the week! Oh this fine specimen of a male...is William Levy, I've posted him before but I found some new pics...good lawd, it's a sin to be that beautiful!! ;-) peace

"Gut" thinking

I just read a really interesting article.. on making decisions based on instinct. Article is here. I do this sort of thing all the time. In musical performances it is required. I think that maybe the risk taking is the part that so many people can't handle. We have created such a critical judging environment in our culture that failure or mistakes are not an option. This stifles innovation, creativity, and removes the mysticism from our daily lives.

In the article the author offers this quote..
"neuroscience shows that there may indeed be such a thing as visceral wisdom."

I don't need neuroscience to tell me that, but it is interesting to have some ability to validate our "make" in science.

For me personally, I believe that the Holy Spirit is a part of every decision and action that I take. I am not always right... but I am right more often than not...

Trusting my gut, is a part of who I am. It isn't a substitute for disciplined, well managed actions and decisions.. but it IS a part of those processes. The bigger question is who gets credit for the visceral wisdom in our gut... I know my answer on that one too.

Proverbs 3:5-12 (The Message)
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this.

In honor of those who lost their lives....

...at Virginia Tech. I pray for all the families and all the victims who were affected by this horrible, horrible event. peace

Annnd it's Sunday...

...which means tomorrow reality sets in and I'm going back to work! I had a great weekend. My roomies married boyfriends birthday is sometime this month, so she decided to cook for him and his favorite meal? Thanksgiving dinner! So that is what she made, she invited some friends up also. My other friend took off out of town this weekend and offered me the chance to stay at her place (so I can have my space during the whole thanksgiving dinner thing) so I did. It was great, I watched hella DVD's and just being in my own "space" was cool. It was nice and a much needed break. Yesterday I took my mom to lunch and then we picked up my sister, nephew and niece and we all went bowling. Ok, I bought a bowling a ball like a month ago, but I think it's going on Ebay! I lost...to my nephew...who is 10!~~ Granted, he had the "bumpers" up, but still! lol It was a great time had by all and even though my sister (who is a drug addict by the way) seemed to be "on", I still just enjoyed the time I had with her and my niece and nephew. I learned to take the "literal" moments I have with them and enjoy them, not judge, not be mad...just enjoy. It was a breakthrough for me actually and a welcomed one. Today I did nothing but sit in my friends apartment and watch movies, it was great! I don't know how to relax or to just chill, which is weird because I am a laid back person...life wise, but personally...it's difficutlt to just chill. Well I did that today and it was exactly what I needed. Hope everyone had a great weekend! and hope you all have a wonderful week! ;-) peace

Wake

We just got home from our trip to Florida to see Andy and Tara and the kids... On our way back, we stopped over in Atlanta and went to the aquarium. I snapped this photo and really enjoyed the caption. "History is written by those who make the wake." It was on the bench next to two busts of these benefactors of the aquarium.

Pink. Dear Mister President...

...ok, I posted this video almost a year ago...it's a great song and with so much truth! Well Scott's site just posted it, it seems he just NOW heard it. That is surprising, on his blog he stated that the radio stations won't play it because of the content. I didn't know that. So I say to all bloggers, post it, post a song that says we are done with the Bush administration! I thought everyone had heard this song...I guess not. So, here it is again, let's not live in a Big Brother society.(this video isn't the one I posted, but it was on Jimmy Kimmel Live the other night) ;-) peace

Pink Performs Dear Mr President
Uploaded by scottorama

My original post, better quality...

Pink - Dear Mr President (traduction FR)
Uploaded by Gateauauchocolat

It's Hump Day...

...Hump away! I decided to post multiples, so you can just pick and choose, but don't be greedy and do them all now...that's how rumors start! ;-) I'm cooking a pot o beans right now, lima bean and ham, I've been promising the ladies at work I'd bring them beans. Other than that nothing much going on. Me and the friend who wants to be a monk are doing fine...I finally figured out that...if I'm ok, then whatever my friends are going through...I can be there for them. Well, I'm ok. ;-) peace

Happy Monday!

Today was a blah day, really, I didn't feel like being in the office, I didn't feel like being awake I didn't feel like eating. I wanted to lay on the couch and watch DVD's *sigh* but I didn't...I worked.. ;-) (y'all know that's for my IT dept. in case they read this right?) ;-) So me and the friend who wants to be a monk are ok, we talked, he then sent an email saying I wasn't supportive (told you!) I responded by stating I never said I didn't support you! I said I don't think this is a vocational calling and you agreed and said you need to go and see if it is, then I agreed and said yes you need to go to Wisconsin and see if it indeed is. I then brought up that it seems you are looking to be "taken care of" if Bruce puts you out, you also agreed and brought up how your aunt agreed also. Now if that is negative or nonsupporting, well then I apologize...I thought it was a very good conversation actually. In any case he wrote back and said I was right and he over reacted...I'm exhausted. So he says he'll let me know what happens when he gets back from the monastery in Wisconsin he is going to go visit in a few weeks. Other than that, life has been wonderful! I went to my moms and ate like I a heffa! I did a lot of walking today though, so my guilt has been appeased! Hope everyone had a great holiday! ;-) peace

The Gay Guru is back!

AND he is alive and well and he was sorely missed, you can check out GG here, welcome him back or just say hello nice to meet ya... ;-) peace!

Bigfoot...

...in Lakota it's called Si Tanka, does anybody else believe? I do, I think...I mean I'm open to the possibility, I mean we can't be EVERYWHERE at once right? We may have missed something. I'm watching this show on the History channel now about it, very interesting. Today was a lazy day, I did nothing but watch a movie (Running with Scissors, very good!) and do some laundry, rearrange my room. Nothing exciting. I'm saving my self for tomorrow when I go to my moms for Easter! I am so gonna chow down! She always makes ham, potato salad, yams...mmm...delish! Hope everyone has a great holiday!! Here are some pics that um, well...your foot won't grow but... *evil grin*
;-) peace!

Make

shots, history, things, actions, music, experiences.

I watched my share of March madness this year and the simplicity of the goal, to make the shot set me to thinking about what exactly I make as a musician, minister, manager, father... It isn't nearly as simple as in sports. I know, I know, there is a "shocker".

The word itself is laced with simplicity and confustion all in one. I might say that I make music, but what did I actually create? I interpreted, and added a piece of my soul to some "thing" that existed. If I am improvising, perhaps I add a larger percentage of myself, if I am performing a Schubert song, perhaps a little less me, and more the story and characters.

The inspiration didn't come from me or did it? That is the question we all ask daily.

We each try to "make it" each day, week, month, year. In this context, I am talking about success. I often say: "people don't do things without a reason" and I mean it. I sit here this morning, on vacation wondering... Why do I do the things that I do? For me it isn't about money, but it is often about recognition, and influence and a deep rooted desire to help those around me often at the expense of self. This seems contradictory at every level. Somehow, I help myself by helping others and it sustains me. Maybe that is my "make".

I like the safety of my world. I like the regularity of going to work daily and receiving a paycheck. I desire the accolades of the stage. I want "people" (the more the better) to know that I am "good enough" and that I making a difference in the world. I suspect that I am not so different than most, though I may talk about it more than most.. that is another benefit and flaw of my "make"
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Isaiah 45 4-12 (NIV)
For the sake of Jacob my servant, of Israel my chosen, I summon you by name and bestow on you a title of honor, though you do not acknowledge me.I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other.

I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things. "You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness grow with it; I, the LORD, have created it.

"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say,
'He has no hands'?

Woe to him who says to his father, 'What have you begotten?' or to his mother, 'What have you brought to birth?'

"This is what the LORD says— the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands?
It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it. My own hands stretched out the heavens; I marshaled their starry hosts.

I can't deal...

...oh don't get me wrong the world is wonderful still, but I just can't deal sometimes. I try to be a good person, a wonderful person even...but sometimes, let me tell ya, it's difficult. So when I left for South Dakota all my friends were cool, everything was nice and whatnot. I move back, my best friend (who is a girl) now wants to be a man and is taking "T". Another friend (the one I live with) is in a serious relationship with a married man. Ok, she's had one serious relationship...there is no way she can handle this if he plays her. *sigh* and now, my bestest friend, my gayest friend, my oldest friends, my dearest friend who I have known half my life...wants to be a monk. If you were drinking a liquid and just snorted out your nose...it's ok, I did too. There is nothing Monk like about this person, Nooottthhing!! I know the real reason this has come up, I need to call him, I need to respond to his email but I can't. I need to slap him is what I need to do, but he lives in Colorado so that's a bit difficult. I don't know what to say to him, I don't know how to respond, he called last night but I couldn't take the call...I just couldn't answer the phone. It's bugging me, I need to say SOMETHING, I need to give some support...right? Or do I? I mean just because I'm a good friend, can't I say what I want to say? Can't I just let it all out? Well, yes I can...on my blog!! lol lawd, I hope they don't read this...but if they do, they'll know how I truly feel. Girl who wants to be a man, quit, it's cute...but you are always on the latest trend..and this to shall pass. Girl and married man, yes you are in love, he loves you and all is well...but come on now...until he is on his own, you ARE the other woman. Bestest friend...oh friend, reality is what you are scared of, you've been a housewife for 13 years now and now you want to be taken care of again...in a monastery, where you don't have to do anything...or so you think. Yes the rent is free, there is no light bill and you don't have to go to a job, but you do have to work while you are there...and you can't smoke, and all them drugs you on for depression and OCD and whatever else you "think" you have...gotta stop. Then what? Hopefully your mind will be clear and you can join the real world.

I feel better, was that harsh? Was it wrong? Do I care? Seriously, I got my own shit to deal with, it's hard to be there for people with such serious chaos and still try to live my own life. I guarantee you, if anyone of them read this...I will be the asshole, I will be the unsupportive and callous friend...and yet...not one of them...hardly ever asks how I am doing?? hmmm...
;-) peace

sorry I don't even have the strength to find some photos to upload...or answer my phone if any of my other friends call!

Gay Native Americans...

...just found this site, well actually a friend (JD) did for me..seems cool!
http://www.gay-snag.com/

Happy Monday....

...not that Monday's can be happy, but some can! Ok, so this weekend...hmm..see I'm not sure if I can fully disclose what I did this weekend, but I had fun (and no not like that) but it could have been! :) I went to SF this weekend and had a ball with my friends! Got back like yesterday morning, was tired as hell and spent the day sleeping, eating and watching DVD's it was fun. The most fun I've had since I've been back! I hope everyone has a great work week! ;-) peace

Yardwork versus singing

I think this is one more reason that we should spend more time singing and less time doing yardwork! All those lawnmowers and tractors create greenhouse gases. Unless, I am totally wrong.. singers and other musicians are NOT in any way contributing to global warming. ;) I know it isn't really rational, but it struck me as worthy of a "note". :)