Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Musician's curse?

Is it a curse or a blessing that we as musicians don't get to create a lasting thing?

Our art is an ethereal thing expression captured in the moment of performance. When done well, it is a perfect blend of the composer's intention, the artist's humanity and skill, the audience's attention and the place and time. None is more important than the other, but all are required. CDs, Videos, and the like can never capture the energy and spirituality of a musical performance. They are no better than a photograph of a great mountain range or building. The event is multidimensional and multisensory and exists at a moment in time. For most, it cannot be captured or duplicated because ultimately the experience and participation of the audience cannot occur asynchronously. It is possible to create music which reaches the audience through a recording, but it is a very special talent. I think of The Three Tenors, and Fantasia. Both are musical events which seemed to transcend their performances and found a way to utlize recorded media effectively.

As the performing artist, I am charged to find places to make music with as many people as possible, but not for too many.. ;) I can sing the same Lord's Prayer thousands of times and it will never be the same for me or for the audience. Finding the spark in the music is the key, I think. The divine inspiration.. Could that be the prize?

Change

I spent a wonderful afternoon on Monday talking about change with our friends. Our world is constantly moving. Maybe too fast.. maybe not fast enough. By placing value on people and relationships, I utilize my faith to carry me through the change. There is always someone happy, sad, grieving, joyful, ecstatic, depressed... You know the list.

What exactly is the "prize" at the end of all of this change? I get the feeling that even in the midst of all of my educated rhetoric, and phisophizing, sometimes I lose focus on it.

Relationships are hard things to acquire, maintain and they are even harder things to lose. The emotional toll cannot be measured. The physical toll is usually hidden until much later.

I change a lot these days. It is a struggle to keep up.


Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!You've all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You're after one that's gold eternally. (1 Corinthian 9:19-25, The Message)

ooooh shit, POPPIN!

ok who remembers poppin...well this is asian style and they do it good!! ;-) peace

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Double Beat...

...hi all, how is everything? Life is good here, had a great weekend but back at work now. It is still busy with training but I like it. Found this new video it is considered Women's Fancy but it has a Double Beat...pretty cool, I've never seen it though.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Boniva with Sally Field!

why? why? why? She is such a great actress!! Why?!!! Ok you know what, she really believes in this product and that is WHY....I think. ;-)peace

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Legacy of Babel

I read a post from a friend yesterday and was inspired.
Pandora's Box

I began to think that maybe I should be concerned about my legacy, what I am leaving to the world. What is worth investing in?

Then I was smacked back to reality.(first by the email below from a dear friend and elder) and then by the sermon of Dr Browning at HRBC this memorial day Sunday.

-----------------------> FROM BRUCE

Forgive me for taking this liberty, but I feel I must respond to words floating around about the present state of my cancer and prospects of survival.

I am dying of cancer - so what?, that's been going on for a long time.

If you have concerns about my latest PSA readings and the radiation maps proving, finally, that my cancer has metastasized, then realize that this is just another phase of the cancer which has had me in its sights for a long time, over 12 years.

If you have concerns, then the concerns are yours not mine. I have known of what I have been dying for the past 12 years. When a biopsy yields a Gleason score of 9, as mine was, then your days are numbered no matter what action you take - it's just that no one knows what that number (of days) is. A Gleason score above about 7 will almost guarantee that no matter what you do within the limits of today's technology, your days are numbered - you can cut the prostate out, you can burn it out (with all sorts of radiation, including ultrasound), you can freeze it out, but in a few years the cancer will show itself again because it never totally left. With a Gleason score of 8 or 9, it just might as well be 10 (which means it has gotten out of the prostate with certainty).

It pains me to see the concern people have when I just can't generate any concern. Don't get me wrong I'll fight this thing until it takes me, if that is what does take me, but it has no power over me any more than satan has.

Thirty-six years ago The Lord won a victory over me, and I became His. (See Attachment). As Paul said, "to be absent from the body is to be present with Jesus". I really don't quite see it that way. If anything, I feel more like I have expected to be absent from this body twice, but have been present with my Lord Jesus soon after the first began:
1. The first was 38 years ago when hypoglycemia had me by the throat, and I felt I had no future.
2. The second was when it was discovered that I had inoperable cancer, and I figured I had at most 5 more years on this earth. So I have contemplated my exit in some manner for some time. Now that I am 78, that contemplation is fast approaching reality no matter what. It is a given: All living things must die, we are born to die.

William Shakespeare says through Julius Caesar (Act 2, Scene II), "Cowards die many times before their death; The valiant never taste of death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come."
I learned that back in the third grade or so. I have never felt "valiant", but I have always believed that about life, in a fatalistic way if not any other way. It is so logical that there is no reason to fear something which is destined to happen at some time no matter what. Believing in Jesus Christ and believing that He offers another life with Him after this earthly life comes to an end, just turns something which could be viewed as a negative into something which is extremely positive.

I have been contemplating writing something I will call MORTALITY. One of my key points will focus on time as eternal which makes an individual's life on earth infinitely short. Another thing I will focus on is that we continue to live our lives through our offspring, and in a real sense we (our unique DNA, that is) cannot "die" unless and until all our descendants die.

So have no concerns for me, your concerns should be about your "offspring". I will leave this earth, whenever that happens to come, a satisfied and happy man, not so much as because I have, "fought the good fight", but because I have lived at all, and have living descendants which would never have lived at all, but for me, and of course those of my ancestors who preceded me. The Lord has orchestrated through June and me a legacy which few enjoy.

I have a good friend more than 20 years my junior who is also dying of prostate cancer. His concern is because he is dying at such a young age. "It just isn't fair" he bemoans. He has no offspring. From an earthly view point that should be his concern. Thank God he too knows Jesus.

-----------------------------------

Attachment:

To understand me better you have to know what happened to me about a week after I finally yielded to the call of Jesus Christ. It was quite an experience and no one can understand another's experience without having had the same experience. But here's the best I can do to explain it. If you are familiar with the conversion of the Apostle Paul, then you might have some understanding of what happened to me.

I was sitting in a chair in the living room with my feet up on an ottoman reading the Sunday funnies. Linda Wetekamm, a Wheaton College student who was spending the summer with us contemplating whether she would continue at Wheaton, was sitting on a couch to my right side. Mind you, I had been a Christian for only 1 week. For some reason I asked what it was like when satan attacks you. She gave me some sort of answer and then for some reason left the room.

As soon as she had left, satan attacked me in a literal sense. I can still almost feel the jab/stab. It came from the center of my back at an upward angle toward the left ( that's the best I can do to describe it). I immediately reacted by shouting in my mind, "sic him Jesus". I don't like those words, but that is the way it was. Mind you all of this only took a second. Immediately, Jesus responded doing something I can only describe as dumping a ton of Love on me. The feeling was huge and intense. I knew that I cold not survive such an intense feeling. I was petrified, I couldn't move a muscle and felt like I couldn't even breathe. I very soon began saying to Jesus, "Thanks a lot, but I don't believe I can survive this, please take it away." Well it didn't just go away, but after a while, it slowly began to subside.

I just sat there wondering, "what in the world was that?" I was dumfounded. I had never heard of such a thing in my life. Why did He do it? Well I soon found out why, because Jesus used it during my ensuing training period. I know that Jesus needed me to be saved in order not to be a hindrance to His plans for my children.

Jesus took me through a crash training course building in me a firm foundation of faith. Which was not easy because He was working with a left-brain engineer. But during the 15 months of His "crash course" whenever I would wonder whether He was really there, I would think back on that Sunday morning and the "ton of Love", and kinda reach up mentally and turn a volume control. And here would come that Love feeling. I would immediately turn it back and say, "OK, Jesus, I know you are still there", and proceed with whatever He had for me.

I don't know when I reached the point where I didn't need the "volume control", but it was soon after my "training period". I know there were times during the past 35 years I have thought about that volume control, but never wanted to test it. Then a few months ago while in prayer I decided to try it out, and here it came, admittedly, in a much weaker version, but enough that I knew it was still there if I should need it. I could almost hear my Friend, Jesus laughing at me - which He has had plenty of opportunity to do through the years.


--------------------------->

Any accomplishment I might achieve, anything I might build.. all of these things are a waste of energy. If my intention is to bring glory to myself, or my legacy, then I have missed the entire point. Legacy is a blessing. Fame is fleeting. Reputation is based on more than just the outcomes. The journey and the people are paramount.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Hope, what exactly is it?

Two ends and a middle

The link above is to a really well written blog entry. This particular post uses a framework of interpretation for a verse from Isaiah that is strikingly similar to a discussion about Faith, Hope and Love from my Sunday School class on 5/20..

Maybe hope is best defined from the outside in by intersecting faith and love....

I couldn't help but do a little quick googling to assess the "worldly" definition.. below is a summary.. of some excerpts..

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From Wikipedia:

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of perseverance — i.e., believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary. Beyond the basic definition, usage of the term hope follows some basic patterns which distinguish its usage from related terms:
* Hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude. But hope and optimism both can be based in unrealistic belief, or fantasy.
* Hope is often the result of faith in that while hope is an emotion, faith carries a divinely inspired and informed form of positive belief. Hope is typically contrasted with despair, but despair may also refer to a crisis of faith. Hence, when used in a religious context, hope carries a connotation being aware of spiritual truth. (In some religions, despair itself is considered to be a sin; see Hope (virtue)).
* In Catholic theology, hope is one of the three theological virtues (faith, hope, and charity), which are spiritual gifts of God. In contrast to the above, it is not a physical emotion but a spiritual grace.
* Hope is distinct from positive thinking, which refers to a therapeutic or systematic process used in psychology for reversing pessimism.
* The term false hope refers to a hope based entirely around a fantasy or an extremely unlikely outcome.

Wish is a hope or desire for something. Fictionally, wishes can be used as plot devices, and in folklore, many things are believed to be chances to "make a wish." In fiction a wish is a supernatural demand placed on the recipient's unlimited request. When it is the center of a tale, the wish is usually a template for a morality tale, "be careful what you wish for" writ large; it can also be a small part of a tale, in which case it is often used as a plot device.

Magical possibilities aside, the act of formulating a wish can be beneficial. The wisher has an opportunity to identify what they most desire ("I can have anything at all in the world--what do I want?"). Often, wishing is a time for first becoming aware of a previously-unarticulated hope. Once identified, these hopes can become personal goals.

Crow Hop!!

I may have posted this before, not sure....the last part is what we call the crow hop! enjoy ;-) peace


Friday, May 25, 2007

Channing Tatum

I'm watching Step Up....a cute movie, but more importantly...Channing Tatum is hot!! In the movie he doesn't look like he would be a person who models. He does photograph well though...enjoy the pics ;-) peace






Thursday, May 24, 2007

Violent Femmes

ok I'm dating myself here, but who remembers the violent femmes? I love this song of theirs, I'm not sure what the lady is saying at the end, but I'm sure it's good!! ;-) peace

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Happy Hump Day!

...how is everyone? Life is wonderful here, work has been crazy then slow, and now it's picking up again. My cube is still gray I need to fix it up but not sure how..zen? :) here are some pretty things to look at while I decide. ;-) peace




Sunday, May 20, 2007

Music Sundays...

....I couldn't think of anything new, so I am going to post another video of Fancy Shawl Dancing... ;-) peace

time passed

I looked at the last post here and was abruptly shocked by the date. It really was a month ago that I last wrote. I can't say that I really know where the last month went and that is a bit scary in itself. I think we did a lot of good things and made a lot of good decisions. Couple of things I have written or read elsewhere that are worth our time IMHO.

Balance - Two ends and a middle

From a letter to Bel Canto:
"...every event/performance is a living entity. We interact with the music, the audience and ourselves to try and "make" something. Exactly what the "output" becomes is often ambiguous, but the results are clearest to the participants both performer and audience. I believe that music is divinely inspired and that it is unique and precious language with which our souls can communicate directly. "


Thursday, May 17, 2007

We need something pretty....

...been awhile since I posted something nice to look at! Today was my first 12 hour day at my job, I'm exhausted...I hope all days aren't like this but I get the feeling there will be more. I really like Intel, it's a huge campus and with like 6,500 people working there...it's definitely it's own culture! I have had a great week so far and the people I work with are awesome. Just hope I can keep up. As usual click the pic to enlarge it! ;-) peace





Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Monday, May 14, 2007

Songs of Monday...

...ok I was so nervous about starting my new job today, I totally forgot about Song of Sunday! Today was my first my day and it was insane! but I liked it...it went well. Have a great week everyone and more tomorrow!
Strawberry Switchblade...now really...who, who reads this has EVER heard of them? don't lie... ;-) I tell ya, I am 80's alternative all the way!! ;-) peace

Friday, May 11, 2007

MySpace...

...I have fought for the longest time to do anything with my MySpace page. Until a friend said "why should I add you, there is nothing on your page!" hmmm... #1) eeww! add me 'cause we friends, shit! #2) I really only registered (to show my support, obviously not returned!) so I can check out my friends pages. So after I researched I found I could really do a lot with it, it's kind of simple now, but for the last two fricking hours, this is what I've done. My blog will remain here though. ;-) peace

www.myspace.com/wonderfulworldofleonard

so I posted Womens Fancy Shawl earlier, and now I want to show the Men and their Grass Dance. As with all Native Dance...keep your eyes on the feet.

Stanford Powwow

The annual Stanford Powwow is this weekend, if your local you should check it out. Below is a videp of Womens Fancy Dancing, Team Style...it's really hard to be in step with the three other people, especially when the drums pick up and you have to keep in time with everyone else! ;-) peace

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Is it wrong that this excites me??

I love cars by the way, I will read Road & Track before OUT or The Advocate. My bro sent this video to me, it's the fastest car in the world, it's a Bugatti Veyron with 1,001 HP! *shiver* it has a top speed of 253mph!! Insane! It is the fastest production car out there. Imagine burying the needle in that! Enjoy! ;-) peace

Monday, May 7, 2007

Happy Monday

Today was a nice day, went site seeing with a friend. The weather is nice and hot and yet I'm thankful for A/C in my car and home. Still haven't heard about my start date at Intel but for now it is the 14th (next Monday), I'm hoping sooner though, did I mention I get to wear shorts to work!?? Nothing new going on, so I posted an ad to make new friends here in Sacramento, I want to meet people to go bowling and golfing with (both sports I'm new at) or maybe even an outdoorsy friend. The things is...no takers, well like two. You think it's because I put "I'm gay" in my ad? I mean I think that needs to be disclosed right? I didn't want to spring it on any body on the 4th hole of golf or first frame of bowling. In anycase, I'll post an ad again. Hope everyone has a great week! ;-) peace





Sunday, May 6, 2007

Song of Sunday...

...wow I can't believe it's been that long since I posted. Well first of all, I got the job at Intel...so very happy, start next week. Still being a bum and enjoying the countdown until I go back to the corporate world. Today's video is from awhile ago, Shakespear Sister's "Stay"...enjoy! ;-) peace

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

It's All About the Eyes...

...it's been awhile since I posted some beautiful eyes, of course I had to put a pic of William Levy in there!! Second interview went very well, I should know this week. Other than that not a whole lot going on, other than I'm getting bored! The first week off was nice and much needed, this week, I'm a bit restless...on the other hand...all my laundry is done!! I've also watched more DVD's than I have in the past year, in the past week and a half. The return of Heroes has been awesome also! Who would have thought Sylar was president!! You could have knocked my ass over with a feather!! Only 3 episodes left this season...then I go insane over the summer waiting for the new season! Ok, yeah um, I'm a bit obsessed with this program!! At least I'm not out getting into trouble (which means this summer I will when the show is on hiatus!) have a great night! ;-) peace
p.s. as usual click the pic for a larger image!