I can't deal...

...oh don't get me wrong the world is wonderful still, but I just can't deal sometimes. I try to be a good person, a wonderful person even...but sometimes, let me tell ya, it's difficult. So when I left for South Dakota all my friends were cool, everything was nice and whatnot. I move back, my best friend (who is a girl) now wants to be a man and is taking "T". Another friend (the one I live with) is in a serious relationship with a married man. Ok, she's had one serious relationship...there is no way she can handle this if he plays her. *sigh* and now, my bestest friend, my gayest friend, my oldest friends, my dearest friend who I have known half my life...wants to be a monk. If you were drinking a liquid and just snorted out your nose...it's ok, I did too. There is nothing Monk like about this person, Nooottthhing!! I know the real reason this has come up, I need to call him, I need to respond to his email but I can't. I need to slap him is what I need to do, but he lives in Colorado so that's a bit difficult. I don't know what to say to him, I don't know how to respond, he called last night but I couldn't take the call...I just couldn't answer the phone. It's bugging me, I need to say SOMETHING, I need to give some support...right? Or do I? I mean just because I'm a good friend, can't I say what I want to say? Can't I just let it all out? Well, yes I can...on my blog!! lol lawd, I hope they don't read this...but if they do, they'll know how I truly feel. Girl who wants to be a man, quit, it's cute...but you are always on the latest trend..and this to shall pass. Girl and married man, yes you are in love, he loves you and all is well...but come on now...until he is on his own, you ARE the other woman. Bestest friend...oh friend, reality is what you are scared of, you've been a housewife for 13 years now and now you want to be taken care of again...in a monastery, where you don't have to do anything...or so you think. Yes the rent is free, there is no light bill and you don't have to go to a job, but you do have to work while you are there...and you can't smoke, and all them drugs you on for depression and OCD and whatever else you "think" you have...gotta stop. Then what? Hopefully your mind will be clear and you can join the real world.

I feel better, was that harsh? Was it wrong? Do I care? Seriously, I got my own shit to deal with, it's hard to be there for people with such serious chaos and still try to live my own life. I guarantee you, if anyone of them read this...I will be the asshole, I will be the unsupportive and callous friend...and yet...not one of them...hardly ever asks how I am doing?? hmmm...
;-) peace

sorry I don't even have the strength to find some photos to upload...or answer my phone if any of my other friends call!