Breaking the Monday blahs

I'm trying to break the Monday blahs with a laugh or two.  Here are some jokes and a video that  always does it for me...

Mary Jane

Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew the shark was never going to help that man!
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Mary Jane was walking through the forest, and a squirrel ran up her skirt.
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew there weren't any nuts up there.
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Mary Jane was walking down the street when a man pulled her into a dark alley and started ripping off all her clothes.
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her clothes wouldn't fit him.
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Mary Jane was at the movies with her boyfriend. He put his hand up her skirt.
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her money was in her shoe.
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Mary Jane pushed her brother into the pool. Her mother said, "You know your brother can't swim!"
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew there wasn't any water in that pool.
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Mary Jane was playing on the swings one day, swinging higher and higher. Her mother came out and said, "Mary Jane, don't you swing too high, the boys will see your underwear."
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew she wasn't wearing any underwear.
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Mary Jane was walking downtown and saw a sign in a fabric store that said "Felt, 10 cents."
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew where she could get felt for free.
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Mary Jane burnt down the barn one day, and her mother said "Mary Jane! You're in big trouble when your father gets home!"
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her father was in that barn.
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Mary Jane was crossing the street with her mother. As her mother stooped to pick up a quarter, she was hit by a bus.
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew it was only a nickel.
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Mary Jane went to the doctor because she hadn't been feeling too well. The doctor told her that she was pregnant with twins.
And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew she only did it once.
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Mary Jane had forgotten to do her chores one day and was sitting in her room reading a book. Her father came storming up the stairs and threw open her room door and ripped the book out of her hand and threw it across the room….
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew what page she was on.
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Mary Jane was walking through a cow pasture when she came upon a big, fresh pile of cow manure. On top of this steaming pile of manure was a tiny fly.
And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew a fly couldn't have made all of that.
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Mary Jane went to the drive-in movies with her boyfriend. She was looking really fine, so he says, "Hey Mary Jane, do you want to sit in the back seat?". Mary Jane looked at the back seat, then back at her boyfriend.
And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed because she knew she wanted to sit up front with him.
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Mary Jane was asleep in bed one night. A strange man came into her room, took off his clothes, and got in bed with her.
And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew she had the only pillow.

And now the video...

Hehe, I feel better already! Happy Monday!
Bob Out