Prom at Skarholmen 29/5

Sooo, what happened ? Well I got home at o1.00 am. and was in bed by 01.30 am. Long story but I can make a quick summary; Winnie´s daddy was gonna fetch us (waited 10 min) - he was late and Winnie called him, he was on his way (waited 15 min) - he was lost, told us to call a cab - we called Sofia´s daddy instead (waited 20 min) - finally on the way home.

Anyway, I had a great night and I couldn´t have spent it with more delightful company.
All the people I danced with are not countable, haha ~let´s make a summary! x)~ A LOT.

Here are some (?) pics from yesterday. Prom at Skarholmen 2008.

Mandy, me

pretty ladies

Nathalie, me, Jessica

Billy, Winnie, me, Sofia

Winnie, Yasmine, me, Sofia

me

Winnie, me

Martin, Sofia, Magnus (my best friend this week LOL xD)

Elza, me

I´m bringing sexy dancing back

or me and Winnie are, hahaha xD

Blame the boss?

The Scott McClellan book/drama has me all worked up. What a conundrum.. He says "he became what he wanted to change.." It makes me worry about myself.

I too was enamored with George Bush when he took office.. I am a pretty diehard Republican. I was very concerned about the Iraq war as I am today... I would have voted for it, if I had been in Congress. I have a hard time understanding how the "bubble" could be so stifling to moral and ethical standards for which he feels so strongly. I haven't read the book and I don't plan to.

How can a member/employee of the administration so blatantly indict activities in which he played a central role? Leadership, particularly government leadership in the executive branch is or should be a solemn responsibility to the people. Blaming the boss when he was an executive.. doesn't cut it for me.

If we all had such concerns, how in the world did we get pulled into the "Abilene Paradox" . Each of us is to blame. Interestingly, I agree that George W and the sitting members of Congress must take the "blame" for now. If I make a bad call in my job, or family, ultimately I am held personally accountable. That is what is lacking in all of this "spin". Noone seems to be accountable for anything any more.

I trusted you Mr President. I still respect you and the office, and even the representatives who allowed such a fiasco to occur.. I wonder if I would make the same mistake in the same situation. Good thing I'm not running for president and don't have to find out. Wow, what a tough job.

The whole world is a critic, and there is so much downside.. to standing up and leading..

cravings right now

1. Long hair (this is what I am wearing for tonight). x)...I mean the hair, hahaha...

2. Banana toast - yummo !

3. Tuna and egg salad xD hahahaha...

4. More of big fat A+ grades X).

Jérémie gave me this on my latest "essay"
(MVG+ stand for A+ here in Swe).

5. More nice shorts from H&M, weeeehooo :P

Retail...

...not sure if it's for me. I mean I want to for many reasons but Karma is not working in my best interest. I'm holding off any professional positions so that I may find a position in retail or grocery for a couple of reasons. #1) being that they are shutting down a major freeway I live right off of and use to get into downtown Sacramento or the "mini" silicon valley up on 50. Traffic will be a nightmare! #2) I'm moving, I'm moving closer to my parents about 70 miles away and until we (me and my cousin, I'm waiting on him) are ready to do that, I kind of want something low key and a job that I can transfer when I go. That way, I have a job when we move and then I can look for something else. Well I applied at Target, it's close by...no freeway needed and uh, well it's not Wal-Mart. So I do the whole Kiosk thing (yes, no paper applications anymore!) and I sit there and answer like 60 questions of "if you found a 5 dollar bill on the store floor while you were on duty what would you do" type of questions. It was amazing, I mean come on it's Target!! I hope I don't offend anyone by that but really, I just want to like I... dunno stock shoes, make some money and move and start my life in the town my parents live in.
So they called me for an interview someone named Sonia (I swear she sounded 15 and giggled a lot). It was supposed to be today at 5pm. Ok it's Target, I'm not sure...do I throw on the Kenneth Cole shirt with the Calvin Klein tie? (don't you hate when people name drop like that! LOL but hey I'm a bad sloppy messy ghetto gay so it's all I have!) Well I called a couple friends and they all suggested khakis and a nice polo so that's what I did. Uh...I was sitting on a bench outside a small office in the back of the store and a guy comes out of the office and asks if I'm there for an interview. No, I'm looking for cotton balls that's why I'm sitting here on a bench in the area that says Employees Only. I knew I was doomed right there. So I sit and I sit and the guy comes out again and asks my name and says he'll be with me in a moment. Meanwhile he leaves the door to the office/room open and a boy (yes I'm sure he was like 17 or something) starts talking to me about the interview process. Can I just say he was wearing jeans and a button up? Telling me what type of questions they ask and how to answer etc...then...he asks if I ever had an interview before??!!! Um, part of me is like, cute..I look young and the other part of me is like...dude, you have no idea!! I have interviewed with CEO's and partners of consulting firms! It was so surreal! In any case, they lost my application and their "system" had no record of me at all. Even though Sonia called me for an interview...so uh yeah, I need to reapply. *sigh* We shall see. ;) peace

not freaking out

I have been waiting for this day for like sooo long and then this day ~ today ~ finally arrived and it is soon to be over. What day am I talking about ? The day before prom. Am I beeing weird when I say that I am not that "over-excited" I thought I would be ? I mean I went to Aunty Katherine today to look at dresses, not like I don´t have any myself but these were from the US because she went there for a wedding and blablabla x)...LOL, why do I always start talking about other stuff than the subject I started with ?!...anyhow I tried like 8 dresses and decided to go for one of them, I will show pics later, like after prom, hehehe...but I have no shoes and I haven´t decided what bag I am using or accessories I´m wearing.
All the girls in my class decided what to wear like 6 months ago and a couple of weeks ago they were freaking out because they didn´t know what kind of underwear they should use !!! So I really don´t see myself in the position of calling myself weird =.=...I will just take the day as it comes and have fun. Do my thing, cause that always works x)
//good night all my dear readers out there, I am going to get some beauty sleep now...

olala how vintage Sandra

People might tell me that I steal, but you shouldn´t use the word steal because what I am doing is not stealing, more likely borrowing x)...and it´s only for good purposes, like;

1. To look hot.

2. Where something unusual and vintage that I wouldn´t normally go out and buy myself but it looks nice and I will catch everyones attention, haha.

3. I get to use my creative side of mix and matching.

So you see. Not a chance you can compare my borrowing with stealing. I am just borrowing mummy´s wardrobe sometimes to complete with my own...and that is no crime, right =.= ?...

George W. Bush is an idiot...

...and I can say that. I can say, hey...I think the president of the U.S. is a joke and a moron...I can say that. I can disagree with our political leaders, the Senate the Congress all of it...I can say our government is a joke! Now do I really believe all that? Well...definitely the George Bush part! ;) The point I want to make on Memorial Day is that no matter how you feel about the President or any facet of our government...you can express it. You can say you disagree and no one is going to come to your house and arrest you. Nobody will put you in jail for not agreeing with the government and nobody will execute you for not adhering to the rules set forth by the government. I think as Americans we forget how free we really are, I mean think about it...you can be or do or say...anything you want. Hell YOU can be the next President of the United States. How many countries in the world have the same liberties? How many people have been jailed or executed by their own leaders and governments because they didn't agree, because they expressed an opinion? So I just want to take a moment and say whether you are a Republican or a Democrat or a Libertarian, you get to choose and you have options. Whether you like Bush or not, whether you are for the war, against it, don't care...whatever. You have that choice, you have that freedom and so many people don't. So hopefully on Memorial Day Republicans, Democrats, anti-war, pro-war, gay, straight, black, white, old, young, redneck, yuppies, liberal, conservative etc...hopefully for at least one day...for one moment...we can forget all that and pay respect to those who fought, lost their lives, retired or are still active right now in the Military...giving us the freedom to BE all of the genres I mentioned above. Like it not or not people and bitch all you want about whatever, if it weren't for the soldiers of the United States going back to then and now...you wouldn't have that freedom...to complain, or actually...express yourself. ;) peace

Today's Weather...

...was a bit chilly...sunny but windy. Great day to get out of the house and take a walk which is exactly what I did. I went for a walk with a friend up and down the Sacramento river. It was great to be out of the house, I feel like I've been holed up in my room for days. Still job searching and looking forward to moving closer to my parents. I'm really hoping to get something close by (workwise until I move) because they will be shutting down I-5 coming the direction of where I live. So to commute would suck big time! I mean they are literally closing it down. So if you live in the Sacramento area, life is going to be hell the next 90 days starting on 5/30. There will be only 5 days when all lanes are open in the month of June! www.fixI5.com has more info.
Other than that nothing going on, which is a good thing. The wind is dying down a bit now, starting to get chilly. Wouldn't it be nice to snuggle up with one of these guys now? A lot of nice younger guy smooth pics on the web but what about a nice looking guy with a bit of fur on him? Keep ya warm on a chilly day! ;)peace

Mother´s day

Mother´s day came as fast as it disappeared but we had a great time, or I had a great time, but mummy had a great time too because I asked her...and she said she had a great time ^^ haha...

Even though mummy had to cook she was happy and even though she went out herself to buy cake, she was happy and that made me happy xD. I love my mummy and this day should be special because it is Mother´s day, maybe we didn´t take her out for dinner but we paid the cake...LOL...and we bought her lottery tickets , actually 7 and she won !...SEK 50 and we paid SEK 100 so at least we or she got half the money back xD, hahahaha...

No, but today was great...can´t believe that in only 3 weeks exactly from now mummy, sis and I will be on MAS to Malaysia x)

Oooh mummy made dinner delicious, hehe - like that´s unusual...=)

...and the day or the part that is left is just getting better :P, soon some champagne and girl talk and me love the combination x)

shame on Scandinavia

We truly overestimated Sweden in Eurovision Song Contest in Belgrad 2008. Okay, just what is it going to take for us to win ?! For God´s sake we sent Perelli !!! And her song was goood, but yet all those Croatia, Romania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, blablabla only vote for their neighbouring countries =.=...and we thta thought that at least the other Scandinavian countries would vote for us - TRAITORS !!! Only Malta gave us their highest point x)...

Even thought there was going to be battle between Ani Lorak (Ukraine) and Charlotte Perelli (Sweden) and so did all the newspapers. Ani Lorak came on 3rd place though, Perelli at...18th...hahaha - let´s blame Scandinavia ! LOL...

1st place; Russia

2nd place; Greece

3rd place; Ukraine //she looks so like Eva Longoria x) pretty as hell...

and 18th place; Sweden

Who throws an Octopus?

Well Detroit Red Wings fans do of course!! How very odd, but still, a tradition I respect and hope keeps going...and for the record...I don't believe they are alive at the time. Here is a clip from the Detroit News which gives further insight into this bizarre tradition.

a bit worried...

It´s Friday. Next Thursday it´s prom. Just finished a 1½ hour of family-dessert-time x). But the real question is; why am I eating cake when it´s prom on Thursday ?!

Mother´s answer; -We are celebrating your A´s you said you got...
My thought; I have a feeling that there is going to be a lot of celebrating this weekend...especially with Mother´s Day on Sunday...but I can´t turn down this weekend´s celebrating, it wouldn´t be as fun if I just sit on the side and watch them eat, right...guess a slice can´t hurt ma...I just have to exercise A LOT and pray I won´t get fat till Thursday ! Hehe...

thoughts I never thought

Home. Long break till 12.35 pm. Had only one french lesson and then 20 minutes of "class quality time" discussing our stupid classtrip we are going to make in 2 weeks ??? We have like no money, are going to a place called Fjällnora, in the middle of nowhere and we are going to camp !!! I´m not going - forget it...2 nights with my class in the wood will drive me crazy =.= and I´m not kidding...we are even going to use some of our weekend and one day that is supposed to be a holiday...

Anyhow, realized that I am really going to miss my french lessons...I never thought I would really say this but I am gonna miss Eva-Britt and Ann-Sofie (my french teachers), espesially Eva-Britt ;) hahaha...God, what´s wrong with me; I couldn´t wait to get out from this school but when the time slowly passes (or at this point quite rapidly...) I want nothing more than to just stay here, where I have memories and feel secure somehow...

Last day during our french lesson we were just talking the whole lesson about the upcoming lessons and Paris and France in general, and after today there are only 3 lessons left =(...

HAPPY - watching La Vie en Rose x).

NOT AS HAPPY - handing in our books on Wednesday x(.

better late than never :P

I know it´s late but I just got these photos from the class photoshoot...hahaha...enjoy x)

my class...

Winnie, Sofia and me (!?) *ignore my face thanks ! =.=

They were hippies, and very cute ones =)

"Student of the month"

Student of the month. I was awarded Student of the month. By who ? Jérémie, my swedish teacher. Never would have thought that, and in front of the whole class ! It´s not like I´m embarassed, it´s just shocking...Jérémie never awards a student with "Student of the month" so I have to admit I am kind of proud of myself =). He can be a tough teacher and gives us a lot of projects, homework and makes us have deeeeep discussions and presentations - and has no mercy in giving us short deadlines...
But it helped me struggle and that´s the great thing about tough, mean (he´s not mean though !) and hard times or studies x) because you are competing with yourself all the time to achieve something you want and that´s the goal. The PROCESS. The process to get through something is the hardest bit and sometimes you don´t get awarded big but it´s still ain´t about the grades or the trophies you get, it´s the journey and the feeling you get inside that matters in the end. Trust me I know because I´ve been through a lot...but I´m fine now, better than ever, happier than ever and I have the ones that I truly love around me all the time. That is my biggest prize x)...

Okay, this was a lot to say about my "award" but I have a lot of things to say about a lot of things...okay, hahaha...

Gay Men Suck!

yeah yeah (insert jokes here) no really, ever been to Craigslist ? Have you checked out the M4M? It's all porn! All about sex hook ups and people showing their junk and their booties! I mean come on! Ok, ok, yes I've known it was like this for years and I never really thought about it. Well this past weekend, my cousin wanted to meet someone and I thought...why not CL? So I went and posted an ad for him in the straight section M4W (yes take my gay card now) and I was surprised at how the ads differed from ours! I mean, the W4M were so sweet and nice and the M4W were really genuine too! You can tell these people want relationships, not hook ups and quick anonymous BJ's, they really are looking for "the one". Ok so a very small percentage of the ads were geared a bit towards intimate situations, but a very small percentage and they sure as hell weren't as graphic as some of the ones I read in M4M. So after doing this for my cousin this weekend I started to think about society's perception of gay people, and how maybe they are a bit justified. If I was a straight person who went and read M4M on CL and then read the straight ads, I definitely would think gay men are just all about sex. I have a straight female friend who I'm chatting with online right now and we are looking at the M4W ads and she's like go to the M4M ads, and I was like...uh no, it's all porn and smut. How sad, I can't look for a potential partner on line with my friend and compare ads and giggle and talk about how cool he is, or how smart he sounds etc, because all my ads in my community listing show dick pics and graphic language. How sad. I mean I'm not a prude or anything but it just looks really bad for us and I feel bad for the straight guys who are looking for motorcycle buds or golfing buddies (I placed a golf ad once, oh lawd...the responses I got had nothing to do with golf!). It's a shame actually.
;) peace

Juicy run without Couture

Proudness comes from within. I am very proud (?), hehehe...today at PE we got to choose between playing rugby or run. Finally Lasse let us choose !!! So what did I do ?

Sneakers on - check !

Tracksuit (unfortunality not a Juicy Couture =.=...yet =)) - check !

Mp3 with some chilling music - check !

And I´m off for a run ! Or run...I ran 1,2 km the rest 2 km I walked hahahaha...but still ! Better than to play rugby, I mean if you ain´t running with the ball you ain´t running or moving much at all. Just sucked that it was raining like crazy and hail (!) so I was as wet as God knows what - a fish ? LOL xD - when I got home. If I get pneumonia now I anyhow got a reason. Just happy I had no makeup on, hahaha...

Me want !!!

my dress...

Just have one thing to say...finally finished x). What do you think ?

This video made me cry...

...because I have a U number...it kind of reminds me of the Holocaust, well not that serious but...well I have a number too. It wasn't tattooed on me but I do have one. This video is about natives who were put on the rez, my rez.

Sunday morning

Why am I up already ? Can´t sleep.
Reason ? It´s OK to clean the house, but cleaning in the morning when your vacuum cleaner sounds like a tornado is not OK ! Especially not when I´m trying to keep my eyes shut as long as possible since it´s Sunday...why can´t neighbours understand that =.=...

I'm a dinosaur and Madonna still rocks...

So it's been a minute since I last blogged and I apologize for that. Well this past Tuesday was my last day at Intel and now I feel kind of lost. It's their corporate culture and the way the position operated and it just kind of becomes a part of your everyday life...so I'm like going through withdrawals. :) The good kind though! So I've been down in Manteca visiting my parents and just relaxing and looking at houses down there with my cousin. Knowing that I'm moving in like 6 weeks I don't want to take on anything permanent or even anything where I have to work in an office. It was a lonely year at Intel, if you're a regular reader you know that my job was quite lonely because the team members I worked with were scattered globally so it was email and IM for me as far as interaction with people. Although I did get to see my manager every other week for 1:1, when she wasn't traveling that is.

Well now, I want to work with people and the public so I decided to get something maybe in retail or grocery. Just something so I have some money coming in and to keep busy while we look for a place and I can pack. Now it's been 20 years since I've done anything in the retail/blue collar world (except for my stint as a waiter two summers ago and that almost kicked my ass!)lol. So this morning I get up and put on a nice polo shirt and some dockers grab some printed resumes I had lying around and head to the local retail center down the street. I go into Wal-Mart first and...I'm sorry, I just can't do it. I don't know why but I just did not want to apply there. So I walk next door to PetSmart and thought..yeah, I like animals and this would be fun. I walk up to a young man who has a badge that says Team Lead under his name and I ask if they are accepting applications. He said yes and that I can go apply online. Online? Hmmm...okaaay. So I thanked him and walked next door to Staples, hey I know software and I definitely know office supplies since I've been sitting in some sort of office for the past 2 decades, I could do this! When I walked in this time there was a cute perky blonde female who asked me if she could help me find something. She couldn't have been more than 17 if not 16, what is the limit these days on kids working? In any case I asked for an application and she just kind of gave me this blank look and hesitated for a few seconds "um do you mean like a book of applications for your own business? Like a restaurant or something?" "No, as in I want to work here and I'm curious if you have an application I could fill out?"
"ooooohh, okay...no you have to apply online, staples.com and click the careers link"
Okay, I thanked her and thought well...weird, no one has applications anymore? Couldn't be! Well after Borders, Kohls, Raleys (they actually had an online Kiosk in the store) Bed Bath and Beyond and Safeway all told me the same thing, I gave up and came home and slipped into shorts and a wifebeater and began applying at all the stores above. It is so hot outside I wish I had known that the blue collar world has caught up with the white collar world and everything is done online now! Does that sound elitist? Wasn't meant to be, so here I am applying like crazy wondering if anyone will actually call me since I have no experience in any of the store categories mentioned above. I shall keep you posted and in the meantime check out this video I saw over at Boy Cultures site...you gotta love Madonna and watching this video brought back a lot of memories from the past two decades. It kind of was ironic when I was feeling a bit out of place and like a relic, I see this video only to confirm it. LOL
peace ;)

brand new toaster =)

Remember when I told you the story about mummy and our toaster ? Well, I didn´t have to wait until after summer for toast - I got some this morning =). Last night when we were shopping at Gränby Centrum we just decided to buy a new one, guess we really were becoming desperate for toast, haha...otherwise it´s our traditionally weekend breakfast - what a tradition, huh ? - and it was just very weird to be without it for like 4 weeks...

Tonight it´s just Sandra´n´mummy night...sis is babysitting over the night...3 kids ! I don´t know how she does it =.=, really admire her after that kindergarten experience of mine...now I´m just afraid of kids coming close to me and I, that had plans of becoming an au-pair for a year or 2 overseas after I finishing my studies - that´s never gonna happen !!! I rather work at cleaning a hotel, hahaha - I´m serious...

Transparent to a point

I make a big deal in my leadership philosophy when it comes to transparency. I manage through people first, and then apply process for risk and compensating controls.  I trust and then attempt to "verify" intentions and my instincts through other ways.   Trust is a fickle thing.. I most often "trust" my instinct on whether to trust another person.  Sometimes, I have real life examples, but not usually.   

This raised the question of how transparent I am with friends, family and colleagues that I don't completely trust. It doesn't mean that I don't like them.. Lack of trust, simply means I won't let them watch my kids, or borrow my truck.  Would I ask them to trust me?  Why should they... I don't think I am as transparent as I would like to be on this one.  I wonder if my talk of risk management and tests ever becomes about manipulating others on a subconscious level. I don't intentionally manipulate emotions.. or do I? I am transparent right up to the point where I am not transparent. I don't cross the line, but then again, I define the line. Ouch... this make my head hurt. Confident humility.. Is there such a thing? If so, am I living out that example... Only mentor I can think of would be Christ on this one. 

My personality is strong, my voice is loud, and I am passionate about what I believe. This is a recipe for great reward, and great risk.. if used improperly.  I am thankful that at least I am indeed fully transparent with my mentor, whether I want to be or not.

j´adore Solero

Sis and I were free from school today since the teachers have something called "studiedag" (study day) - but for the teachers, hehehe. Went to ÖB and bought some ice-cream to load the freezer with x) and of course we had to try the new Solero Blackcurrant Banana Smoothie. D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S and not to mention figure-friendly with its only 99 kcal (!) This is truly a keeper or should I say eater for summerdays outside in the sun...not really that there was any sun today nor sitting outside, but still the kitchen gave me the summer feeling, even though it just lasted for some seconds...

celebration time xD

Hehe, forgot to mention...or brag a little bit...Pia told us our grades in history, religion, civics and geography (which we´re working with right now) and I have big fat A´s in them all except geography, but if I rock this next group presentation about making a fantasy developing country an industrialized country I get that last wanting A...xD. Sooooooooooooooooooooo haaaappppyyyy !!!

micro-egg-omelette 0.0

This morning I was cooking my own egg (hehe, yeah I can do that myself !) and everything was suppose to be perfect - but not today...hahahaha...I like it like really soft after I ate it one time in Times Square KL so now I eat it like that almost always except in maggi mee, then it has to be hard boiled but yet yellow inside and quite soft not just hard as a rock...haha, back to my morning. My egg was like raw ! So of course I couldn´t eat it so I did the unthinkable - put it in the microwave x). 30 seconds and after 20 I heard explosions from the micro so of course I panicked, I mean my egg !!! This was the result of that experiment...I call it micro-egg-omelette and you just serve it with some soy sauce and white pepper - yummo.

burning for Malaysia

Yesterday was...hmm, it wasn´t really as funny as I thought it would be but yet...my expectations can be set to high quite often i realized...here is a picture with me and Mandana after the photoshoot and I know that I´m closing my eyes =.= and then you might wonder why I didn´t use another picture - well on that one I was closing my eyes too...LOL.

Don´t get fooled by the sunlight, it was like 10 °C and I was freeeeezzzziiiing like hell !!!

I was totally dead today, haha. Maybe sounds weird but I don´t really know how to describe it...it always happens when I have to much to handle at the same time, when I´m on the edge of becoming worn-out - and I mean it 0.0...or maybe it´s a mix of burnout and mini-depression, hahaha...miss, miss, miss Malaysia right now ;(...but there are only 16 schooldays left I heard my friend Klara say today x)...