Garbo Talks

“Gif me a visky, ginger ale on the side,

 & don' be stingy, baby.”

A production still of me working with Garbo

I am employed by a well known Portland Gourmet Food Emporium as a wine/beer/chocolate/gift buyer & manager. In this capacity I also do the hiring, training, schedules & upkeep for fifteen 19-34 year olds. I have been at this position for a decade & the kids teach me a great deal…& not so much in a good way.

I provide a daily trivia question for the customers, a free coffee drink & pastry for the first correct answer. The question is placed in a frame at the cash registers. The customers seem to think it is fun & I am trivia trippy, which causes consternation in my circle.

Saturday, early morning, I am pondering possibilities for the challenge & my little gay Puerto Rican staff member pops into the office & offers: “Mr. R, how about a question about movies like something about the silent era; how about something about Greta Garbo?”

Stephen: “None of our customers will have any idea who Greta Garbo was…”

Gay Puerto Rican: “Everyone knows Great Garbo. I love her so much & I am positive that most people find her interesting.”

Stephen: “Hmmm… I stand by my claim, in fact I feel certain that 80% of the American Public would have no idea who Garbo was.”

Gay Puerto Rican: “No! Well, a Bette Davis question then. Everyone knows Bette Davis.”

Stephen: “I am afraid you are mistaken young man. Most customers would not know who Bette Davis was. We best go with a Star Wars question.”

Gay Puerto Rican: “Oh! I love Star Wars, but do a Garbo question, please! Please?”

Stephen (sticking his head out of the office, addressing 5 young staff members): “Hey! Listen Up! Can any of you tell me who Greta Garbo is?”

Staff (looking lost): Who? What? Lady Gaga?

Stephen: Can you name a film with Bette Davis?

Staff: (looking frightened): Huh?

Barista Girl: “My mom loves her. She made watch this movie with her… Beaches?"

Stephen: (to gay Puerto Rican): “My point.”

The customer question of the day was: Greta Garbo was nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress for this 1930 film. The ad campaign for declared- “Garbo Talks!”, as it was her first talking film. Be the first to name this film & you will win a coffee drink & pastry.

We did 520 transactions that day & not one customer or staff member knew the answer... except the gay Puerto Rican. He enjoyed an Americano & a yummy pain au chocolat. I returned to the office & banged my head against the wall.

June is Busting Out All Over

On this day in 1901, English playwright, director, & screenwriter John van Druten was born. In the early 1930s, he was one of the most successful playwrights in London with star studded West End productions: Diversion, After All, There's Always Juliet, Behold, We Live & Flowers of the Forest. Van Druten moved to the USA where one of his successful plays Bell, Book, & Candle was made into a rather good movie movie in 1950 starring Kim Novak & Jimmy Stewart. The original play was about the gay underground in NYC's Greenwich Village, with witches & their magic substituting for gay & special. Bell, Book & Candle is about witches living in the village. They have special 'witch bars,' & they are always worrying about being outed. He wrote the screenplays for Old Acquaintance,Voice Of The Turtle & Leave Her To Heaven.  His play- I Am A Camera was based on the Berlin Stories by Christopher Isherwood & was the basis for the musical Cabaret. He was gay & English, a winning combo.

On this day in 1970, Sexology magazine reported that a study shows that gay men have larger penises than heterosexual men.

On this day in1994 - the Pentagon considered a proposal from the Air Force requesting funds to build a "gay bomb" that would turn enemy troops gay. The proposal came to light in 2007 when the Sunshine Project discovered it through a Freedom of Information Act disclosure. As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested: "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior." I like the idea of the Iraqis & the US soldiers in an orgy of lust... the war would have gone much differently.The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon. The called the new weapon- The Poppers.

In the words of Oscar Hammerstein II:

But it's comin' by dawn,
We can feel it come,
You can feel it in your heart
You can see it on the ground
Just because it's June, June, June!

Born On This Day- February 18th... Photographer Duane Michals

"I'm politically against Same Sex Marriage. I want civil unions. I want all the political advantages, but marriage is a tired vestige of the heterosexual world. I don't know why gay people would want to get married. Of all things! It's a failed institution. It just doesn't make sense. Wedding cake? Oh please!"

Duane Michals' photography gives me an Art-On. Very much a favorite at Post Apocalyptic Bohemia, Duane Michals is not just an amazing photographer, he is truly an original. We have a coffee table book of his photographs which I will get out & peruse, because today is his birthday. This will make for a lovely evening with a glass of whiskey. Michals also produced the art for The Police album Synchronicity in 1983, so that album can be the soundtrack for my viewing pleasure.

Michals became a photographer as a matter of need. All his best impulses grew out of the need to express something from the intangible. Largely self-taught, his work is noted for its innovation & artistry. His work is well known for its insistent, & often humorous, use of the narrative series. Many of his pieces works actually incorporate handwritten text right onto the images. Michals has a fascination with making tangible the intangible realm of love, death, dreams, & wishes. His works deal with human sexuality, both straight & gay, but always in a dreamy, droll, divine & rather decorous manner.

Michals: “The keyword is having something to express. When you look at my photographs you are looking into my mind.”

Michals: "I am not bothered by those pesky questions dealt with by most photographers- how can I get this model to smile without showing her teeth? Does this house look better with or without the little red wagon in front? So think hard, think deep & ask new questions. As a photographer, how can you present the nature of existence & the drama of the human condition? How will you define beauty & ugliness in visual terms? What is death & why is mankind fixated on rational explanations of the afterlife."

"When people ask me what I am, I tell them I'm the artist formally known as a photographer, I am an expressionist & by that I mean I'm not a photographer or a writer or a painter or a tap dancer, but rather someone who expresses himself according to his needs."

Michals grew up in McKeesport, Pennsylvania. In 1953 he received a BA from the University of Denver. In 1956 he went on to study design at the Parsons School of Design with a plan to becoming a graphic designer. He did not complete his studies

In 1958 while on a trip in the USSR, he discovered his interest in photography. The photographs he made during this trip became his first exhibition held in 1963 at the Underground Gallery in NYC. Michals settled in the city in the late 1950s & became known as a commercial & fashion photographer, working for Esquire & Mademoiselle, & he covered the filming of Francis Ford Coppola’s The Great Gatsby (1974) for Vogue. He worked for Dance Magazine & After Dark. In 1968 Michals was hired by the government of Mexico to photograph the 1968 Olympic Games. In 1970 his works were shown at the Museum of Modern Art, NYC.

He does not have a studio. Instead, he takes photographs of people in their environment, which was a contrast to the method of other photographers of his time, Richard Avedon & Irving Penn.

Michals has been in a relationship with his partner, an architect he met at the gym, for 51 years. Though he has not been involved in gay civil rights, his photography has regularly addressed gay themes & quietly added to the pantheon of 20th century gay imagery.

When Our Hearts Were Young & Gay

If you are straight person reading this, you may be excused*. To the others: When you look back, & sometimes you should, when was a moment from your childhood that you think:

 "How could they not have known?"

*I feel I need to clarify.I like straight people, I'm gay, not a douche nozzle!

I don't believe that this is a lifestyle that they chose. I think some people are innately heterosexual. Who care what causes it. I have straight neighbors & they are perfectly nice, not so great on keeping their garden up, but friendly. Having them actually makes me feel good about living on such a diversified block. It just gives me an unhappy face to have to see them kissing right on the sidewalk. I don't want to have to explain to my dogs about a mommy kissing a daddy. Just my 2 cents.

A Gay Guy In A Boy Band? What's Next, Lesbians Forming Folk Duos?

When New Kid on the Block- Jonathan Knight confirmed this week that he is gay, millions of big haired mall babes of a certain age had to deal with some seriously broken hearts.

Knight:"I have lived my life very openly & have never hidden the fact that I am gay! Apparently the prerequisite to being a gay public figure is to appear on the cover of a magazine with the caption 'I am gay.' I apologize for not doing so if this is what was expected!"

That statement was greeted with the magazine headlines- "Jonathan Knight Comes Out of the Closet."

I've Got A Goal Again, I've Got The Drive Again, I'm Gonna Feel My Heart Coming Alive Again, Before The Parade Passes By

It was one of my most favorite musicals growing up. I had the Original Broadway Cast album of Hello, Dolly! with today’s birthday girl, & I augmented my collection with cast recordings with Pearl Bailey, Ethel Merman, & the Japanese & Finnish casts, plus the London cast featuring Mary Martin as Dolly Levi. But nothing was better than the original with Carol Channing.

In 1921, Albert Einstein was explaining his new Theory of Relativity, Charlie Chaplin's movie The Kid was released, Babe Ruth became the home run champ, Turkey made peace with Armenia, President Harding dedicated the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington Cemetery, Eugene O'Neill's Anna Christie received its premiere on Broadway, & in Seattle, on January 31^st, living legend Carol Channing was born.

Channing is a singing, dancing, acting force of nature & one of our biggest stars, but even with her fabulous talent, it is difficult to pinpoint exactly what Channing’s appeal is. Her face & voice are instantly recognizable, yet in her long career, she has worked in only 5 movies including the LSD comedy Skidoo (1968), often cited as one of the worst movie ever. Channing was nominated for an Oscar & won the Golden Globe for her work in Thoroughly Modern Milley. Her triumphs were always been on the Broadway stage.

Channing is a true original. She was never a bombshell, & she is rather demented without being risqué or grotesque. And she's a belter along the like Ethel Merman, but without being brassy. She has been often cast been cast as a gold digger while there is nothing seductive about her persona.


Channing’s contradictions made a little more sense when I read her engaging autobiography- Just Lucky I Guess: A Memoir of Sort. She speaks candidly about her messy break up with her husband of 41 years, Charles Lowe. Carol disclosed that she & Lowe had only ever had sex "once or twice in our 41-year marriage & that was 41 years ago.”  She stuck to her wedding vows the whole time & didn't have sex with anyone else. What opportunities did she pass up?  Lowe had spent most of her hard earned fortune, & to make matters more bizarre, the scandal reached its anti-climax when Channing broke the news that the hubby was a homo.  A camp icon with a gay husband isn’t as shocking as the 41 year dry spell.  After 31 years, even the Husband & I manage to knock one out every month or so. The memoir also reveals that her grandfather was African-American.

Even with her resilient image, Channing has had her hardships. She triumphed on Broadway as fortune hunting Lorelei Lee in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, but Hollywood cast Marilyn Monroe in the film version. Monroe saw the show over & over, & borrowed Channing’s best bits. Channing really owned the role of Dolly Levi in Hello, Dolly!, she was the first & most famous in the role on even followed by such talents as Ethel Merman, Phyllis Diller, & Pearl Bailey. But director Gene Kelly thought casting her was too risky & gave the role to Barbra Streisand who was decades too young for the role (Streisand would be perfect now).

I love her so much in Thoroughly Modern Millie, playing a rich, madcap matron Muzzy Van Hossmere, who makes her entrance flying in a biplane, quaffing champagne. She blew my little13 year old gay mind with her 2 big musical numbers- Jazz Baby where she tap dances on a xylophone, & Do It Again which begins with Channing being shot out of a cannon.

Channing has played Dolly Levi in over 4,000 times to packed-houses around the globe without ever missing a performance. Hello, Dolly! was the first Broadway musical to play China.

In May 2003, she married her 4^th husband, Harry Kullijian, her junior high school sweetheart, who reunited with her after she mentioned him fondly in her memoir.  They renamed the school's auditorium The Carol Channing Theatre in her honor. The city of San Francisco proclaimed a Carol Channing Day, for her advocacy of gay rights & her appearances as the host of the Gay Pride events around the country.

Kullijian: "Carol & I are looking at all the children in the United States. We often say, ‘Those children are our children. They're all Americans.' They have to be uplifted. They have to experience music, literature, poetry, theater, sculpture & paintings. It's a crime that these things are falling to the wayside. Art is the mainstay of our souls. I believe that Carol Channing is the one person in this country who can say ‘Come on folks, let’s get together with one voice & make this happen because the future of this country is at stake."

Carol Channing turns an astonishing 90 years old today. Happy Birthday!

Born On This Day- January 15th... Gay Icon Ivor Novello

"Lovemaking is an art which must be studied & practiced."





I love this film & after seeing Robert Altman's brilliant Best Picture nominated film- Gosford Park for the 4th time, I had to explain to a friend that the character of Ivor Novello was not from the imagination of screenwriters Bob Balaban & Mr. Altman. Jeremy Northam's portrayal of the matinee idol was so effortless & elegant that it's easy to believe him to be just another one of Altman's brilliant creations. But Ivor Novello was, in fact, a major & important celebrity in the 1st half of the 20th century, the kind Cole Porter & Noel Coward personified & loved to write about: the smoking jacket wearing, martini drinking, man-about-town, & what a big surprise… Ivor Novello was gay!

He was born David Ivor Davies January 15th, 1893 in Cardiff, Wales.

Ivor Novello did it all, working on the stage to the silent screen in D.W. Griffith's The White Rose & the early Hitchcock thriller- The Lodger. He wrote popular plays such as The Rat & movies- Tarzan the Ape Man ("Me Tarzan, you Jane" was the invention of Novello). He gave Vivien Leigh her stage name, & wrote the patriotic song Keep the Home Fires Burning. He was the Andrew Lloyd Webber of the '30s & '40s, composing lush, romantic musicals- like Glamorous Night & Perchance to Dream.

He was as versatile & prolific as his friend & rival Noel Coward. Critics fell all over themselves trying to describe his romantic appeal, which proved to be as powerful to many male theatre & moviegoers as to the legions of Novello's swooning female fans. Coward himself would admit Novello could be "violently glamorous" but also "a little vulgar too”. I think that was the secret of his appeal.

In 1916, Novello met 21 year old actor Robert Andrews. They became lovers & remained together for 35 years. They appeared together in many of Ivor Novello's plays & musicals. Novello bought a house in Jamaica, near Noel Coward’s, where he & Andrews spent time together. They were devoted to each other until Novello’s death & were rarely seen without the other. In 1951, Andrews was with Ivor Novello when he died at their London flat. 10,000+ fans lined the streets of London to say good-bye, & the service was broadcast live. Noel Coward: "Ivor & Bobby are beguiling, but they also ramble on ad nauseam about 1 topic- the month Novello spent in prison in 1944 for misusing wartime petrol coupons. They forever lamented the ‘injustice’ of it all”. On Novello’s passing Coward wrote in his diary: "Another landmark swept away. Poor, poor Bobby…he will be utterly devastated.”

The Ivor Novello Awards have been given annually, since 1956, to British songwriters & music publishers. Past recipients of "Ivors" include Peter Gabriel, Elton John, Sting & Paul McCartney. Last year the fab song The Fear by Lily Allen won for best song.

In an era before there was such a thing as "openly gay," Ivor Novello lived an unapologized for life of authenticity & openness. How great is it that his last play, staged in 1951, would be titled- Gay's the Word?

Because The Original Wasn't Gay Enough

I don't know why I am doing a mind riff on this song, but I just can't shake it. Mad About The Boy deals with the theme of unrequited love for a film star. It was written to be sung by a female, but Coward also wrote a version with lyrics bent to the risqué topic of homosexual love:

Mad about the boy
I know it’s silly
But I’m mad about the boy
& even Dr Freud cannot explain
Those vexing dreams
I’ve had about the boy


When I told my wife
She said “I never heard such nonsense in my life!”
Her lack of sympathy
Embarrassed me
& made me frankly glad about the boy.


My doctor can’t advise me
He’d help me if he could
3 times he’s tried to psychoanalayse me
But it’s just no good


People I employ
Have the impertinence
To call me Myrna Loy
I rise above it
Frankly love it
‘Cos I’m absolutely
Mad about the boy

The song gained new popularity when Dinah Washington's rendition was used in the Levi's television advertisement " The Swimmer", directed by Tarsem Singh. In the commercial, which is homage to the1968 Burt Lancaster film The Swimmer, a young man runs through an American suburban neighborhood stripping down to only his jeans, invades private gardens & dives into a series of swimming pools in order to shrink his jeans. Washington's recording was re-released by Mercury as a tie-in in with the advertising campaign, & the cover art featured a shot of the topless male emerging from a swimming pool & bore the Levi's logo. The single made the Top 50 in the UK singles chart.



Other Notable Cover versions by:
Georgia Brown
Blossom Dearie
Marianne Faithfull
Frances Faye
Helen Forrest
Jackie Gleason
Lena Horne
Cleo Laine
Gertrude Lawrence
Beatrice Lillie
Julie London
Billy May
Carmen McRae
Anita O'Day
Eartha Kitt
Elaine Paige < Tom Robinson
Dinah Shore
Maxine Sullivan
Miss Piggy (as Mad About the Frog)