Clarity

Earlier this week, I had a lot of thoughts which ended up in a feeling of concern over a "lack of clarity" with my direction. This is a running struggle for me. I feel like I should be able to to control my choices and with them my future. I would stipulate that my success at work is all about managing risks, understanding options, and making good choices. I depend heavily on people around me in that entire process, but ultimately, I understand that the choice and the accountability is mine. I am a leader. I can't say exactly how I got here, how I developed the skills that enable me to inspire and "lead" other adults. I am not better than them, but I do have some gifts from God which help out a lot. I didn't really earn these, and I may not deserve them, but that is just how it is.

I am filled with a spirit of encouragement(to a fault), the clarity of thought to understand when decisions have to be made, and the courage to make them. My desire is to lead by example bring those around me with me. I'll do all I can, but ultimately I will move on and take accountability first for my family. All others are secondary.

I do not always know where I am going, despite my confidence(faith). I trust in God. Joshua, and my girls(including Tracee) are what I am about. I do have to remind myself every once in a while that they are not mine. They are God's children, and I am just here to prepare them for their own "leadership" experiences to come.

Tracee is the glue that makes the Prillaman engine work and stick... I may try to set the direction as the driver or crew chief, but she is the gas, the oil, the engine, and the wheels and tires. As I watch the M'ville race this afternoon I am thinking a lot. Driving is about hitting the marks, but it is nothing without "the team". I am the leader of my family, but I cannot do all of the roles. I am utterly dependent on Tracee and the kids at home and my team members at work.

As a leader, I am focused on where we need to go... it is humorous that the clarity I am looking for may not actually exist. As Randy said this morning at Monument Hts... Even Abraham didn't really know where he was going. The directions were not clear. He listened, prayed, and DID WHAT HE WAS TOLD.

Genesis 12:1-5
¹ The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. ² "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. ³ I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." ⁴ So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. ⁵ He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.