I am a simple man...

...really, I know this. I like to think I'm educated and smart and hip and all that, but no...I'm not. I was walking back from FM7 today (Intel FM7=Building 7 in Folsom)that is where the cafeteria is located. So I'm walking back to my building and I get close to FM1 where I swipe my badge and I was thinking of Charmed and how I watched 13 episodes this past weekend!! I am so hooked! So as I swipe my badge to get into FM1 (building 1 in Folsom) I'm thinking why? Why do I like it so much?? Ok hot chicks and the pretty lights! When the blue orbs of fury leave the demons hands or the little bubble spray when Leo orbs, I love it!! I am simple!! I am attracted to shiny bright things! That is a horrible revelation about ones self! That is the same reason I saw Fantastic 4, Transformers, Eragon etc....special effects and the lights and magic!!
I mean I'm ok with it, but if I meet people and they ask "so what are you in to?" how do I say, um...kind of like a Miss America contestant...shiny pretty things!!? I mean, yes sure, I can talk about other things...but if that's my main obsession right now? that is soo not attractive. Then again, I am who I am...wear a shiny necklace and you soooo have my attention! ;-) Hope everyone has a great Halloween!!

Assets

Relationships are assets. Skills are assets. Things are assets.

If we use things to secure and build relationships, then there is something about the process that is raised to a different level. I live in a world with so many things that it is difficult to keep my eye on the prize. At the end of the contest, we are judged by how we have loved and made a difference helping others... not by how much stuff we have.

As I write this I am amazed at how I don't even listen to my own writing. It is like there is some program running in my brain to isolate me from words like that. I have been so conditioned to hear the words, and nod my head, that I lose track of the actions which generate value.

In my corporate world, I make decisions to keep what works and discard what doesn't. I understand better than most the volatility of an organization which prides itself on its ability to change. It can create instability but it is also a huge asset. The company can adjust.

I look around at churches, schools, clubs, and even families who can't adjust to the world as it changes around them. Ideas such as gay marriage, universal healthcare, and religion tear us apart.

How about we all start using our assets to build relationships. Seriously.. What if every family devoted a specified percentage of time and money to doing things for people around them. What if our first reaction when we enter a disagreement was to just "give up"... In all likelihood it isn't worth the fight.
How can we track the "value" of these sorts of investments. We try new people, places and things.. if they don't work, we move on. no harm done... To do this, we have to be willing to get out of our comfort zone and seek something greater than ourselves. We have to rely on a joining context that surpasses all that we can do..

God is there and waiting to help us with this. If we just ask, the way materializes. No guarantee that we like it, but then again, we don't have to be the captain of the ship, we have to get on board and play our part as part of the crew. We become the asset that can then be used to accomplish work as God invests in us and through us in HIS world.

Elite?

Classical music is only for the elite. agree/disagree

I wish I could understand why this statement has evolved to be so true in today's society. I don't think it has to remain a constant. If WE(the world) learn to do things we appreciate them and get excited. If I apply the analogy to sports, I think of x-games, bowling, curling, and yes... baseball. The world series is ongoing now.. those players are "elite"... yet there are outstanding ball players in every community. The feeder "ecosystem" is the critical piece missing in the classical music world.

You don't have to play in the major league to enjoy baseball. You don't have to play at Carnegie Hall to enjoy the beauty and artistry of classical music. You don't have to skate in the olympics to enjoy ice-skating. You don't have to have painting in the Met to enjoy art.

Enjoying something can make your life better. Every day needs a smile. Everyone needs something to aspire too... Elite Artists and Athletes alike have an obligation to society to share their talents.. "Genie Oblige" They are not obligated to be elitist, and the line defining elite doesn't have to be so high... We all have something to offer those around us.. if we are willing to try....

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. And because there is only one you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium…the world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, or how valuable, or how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open."
Martha Graham, creator of modern dance

Dear Prudence...

...a random thought here. I remember when this song was the shit, well with people who "were mod" I moved to New Mexico to go to school, I was 19...I was so afraid and felt so alone and so did not fit in. It was an all Indian School, but they were from the rez and had like 8th grade education, I graduated high school. I felt so out of place, I had a dorm room with 4 beds and I had two room mates, they were never there...one night I missed Cali so bad, I missed my friends, I missed my life. I had this on tape and I had walkman "lol dating myself here" and I put this "tape" in and I remember dancing my ass off to this song! I cried and I laughed...it was my alone time...and yeah, I felt so alone. Just me and this song, I will never forget it.

Hard Core

We have a lot of nicknames and titles these days.
Hard Core, Type A, Passionate, Get it done
On the opposite side, is
Compassionate, High emotional quotient(EQ), considerate, caring.

I recognize and agree that approaches and process are important and I am a posterchild for relationships as the keys to successful delivery. I know that people are required to accomplish much of anything, and that the cold, hard, metrics and objectives are not really the end goal. Ultimately, my take is that not all people really care so much about their committments. For them, it is okay to just not get it done, or not hit their target... "they didn't really agree with that in the first place" is a common response.

As a senior manager, my response is almost always, "why the heck didn't you say something before we committed resources and time based on something you didn't think would get done."
I place great value in the people that I trust, and the ones that consistently miss their mark, become less and less valued over time on all fronts.

The "correct" statement is that we need to find a way to develop them, and move them ahead. I think it takes courage to tell another priceless human being that they are not getting the job done. I care that they have failed. There are consequences for decisions at every age, but I cannot make their decisions for them. I am willing to let you know that you disappointed me, and I expect you to do me the same courtesy. If I don't accept and embrace my failures right alongside my successes, I cannot grow and improve. I don't think this makes me "hard core".

Free will and democracy have this soft underbelly to them. We are only as strong as our committments, our honor, our friends, and our faith.

God moves in his world through concurrent diversity, everyone working at their own job, in their personal role, but achieving a "master plan".

The outcome is not known, the approach matters. Coddling one another is not okay. Judging one another is not okay. What a mess, I am sure glad that I don't have to figure all of this out.

Jeremiah 18 1-10 (The Message)
God told Jeremiah, "Up on your feet! Go to the potter's house. When you get there, I'll tell you what I have to say." ^{3 -4}So I went to the potter's house, and sure enough, the potter was there, working away at his wheel. Whenever the pot the potter was working on turned out badly, as sometimes happens when you are working with clay, the potter would simply start over and use the same clay to make another pot. Then God's Message came to me: "Can't I do just as this potter does, people of Israel?" God's Decree! "Watch this potter. In the same way that this potter works his clay, I work on you, people of Israel. At any moment I may decide to pull up a people or a country by the roots and get rid of them. But if they repent of their wicked lives, I will think twice and start over with them. At another time I might decide to plant a people or country, but if they don't cooperate and won't listen to me, I will think again and give up on the plans I had for them.

Psalm 2 (The Message)
Why the big noise, nations? Why the mean plots, peoples?
Earth-leaders push for position, Demagogues and delegates meet for summit talks,
The God-deniers, the Messiah-defiers:
"Let's get free of God! Cast loose from Messiah!"
Heaven-throned God breaks out laughing. At first he's amused at their presumption;
Then he gets good and angry. Furiously, he shuts them up:
"Don't you know there's a King in Zion? A coronation banquet
Is spread for him on the holy summit."

Let me tell you what God said next.
He said, "You're my son, And today is your birthday.
What do you want? Name it: Nations as a present? continents as a prize?
You can command them all to dance for you, Or throw them out with tomorrow's trash."

So, rebel-kings, use your heads;
Upstart-judges, learn your lesson: Worship God in adoring embrace,
Celebrate in trembling awe. Kiss Messiah! Your very lives are in danger, you know;
His anger is about to explode, But if you make a run for God—you won't regret it!

I just realized...

...I could never be a Vampire. I enjoy the sun to much! Was thinking about 30 Days of Night today (which I saw, gory!) and I was thinking of the Anne Rice books. I'm not sure I would want to outlive my family but I would like to fly all over the world whenever I wanted. I like the vampires in the Anne Rice books...they're so romantic and so powerful! I would miss the sun though, sometimes when I just feel down or don't feel well...I go and sit in the sun. It calms me and just makes me feel better. It's also nice to lay out with others. *grin* Happy Hump Day!

Gimme More...

...HILARIOUS!! How is everyone happy WW (Work Week)43! Yes, Intel has their own weeks and we are on WW43, I have been assimilated! Life is good, work is busy and I have some random thoughts to share. Although, before I could post those...someone sent me a video and through that video...I found this! LMAO! I guess this is a drag queen out of LA...this is great. You'll never think of Brit the same again (like one can), oh and Chris Crocker can SUCK IT! Britney Spears sucks, but not me...don't want my junk falling off! ;-) peace
p.s. Joce, this for you sweetie... :)

Clarity

Earlier this week, I had a lot of thoughts which ended up in a feeling of concern over a "lack of clarity" with my direction. This is a running struggle for me. I feel like I should be able to to control my choices and with them my future. I would stipulate that my success at work is all about managing risks, understanding options, and making good choices. I depend heavily on people around me in that entire process, but ultimately, I understand that the choice and the accountability is mine. I am a leader. I can't say exactly how I got here, how I developed the skills that enable me to inspire and "lead" other adults. I am not better than them, but I do have some gifts from God which help out a lot. I didn't really earn these, and I may not deserve them, but that is just how it is.

I am filled with a spirit of encouragement(to a fault), the clarity of thought to understand when decisions have to be made, and the courage to make them. My desire is to lead by example bring those around me with me. I'll do all I can, but ultimately I will move on and take accountability first for my family. All others are secondary.

I do not always know where I am going, despite my confidence(faith). I trust in God. Joshua, and my girls(including Tracee) are what I am about. I do have to remind myself every once in a while that they are not mine. They are God's children, and I am just here to prepare them for their own "leadership" experiences to come.

Tracee is the glue that makes the Prillaman engine work and stick... I may try to set the direction as the driver or crew chief, but she is the gas, the oil, the engine, and the wheels and tires. As I watch the M'ville race this afternoon I am thinking a lot. Driving is about hitting the marks, but it is nothing without "the team". I am the leader of my family, but I cannot do all of the roles. I am utterly dependent on Tracee and the kids at home and my team members at work.

As a leader, I am focused on where we need to go... it is humorous that the clarity I am looking for may not actually exist. As Randy said this morning at Monument Hts... Even Abraham didn't really know where he was going. The directions were not clear. He listened, prayed, and DID WHAT HE WAS TOLD.

Genesis 12:1-5
¹ The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. ² "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. ³ I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." ⁴ So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. ⁵ He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.

Family Guy, Mortal Kombat...

...This is HEllA funny! I'm kinda on a family guy kick at the moment...
Family Guy Mortal Kombat

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Entitled

It is strange how different the world can be from one day to the next. I wonder if it is a blessing or a curse that I begin each day feeling almost "entitled" to a success. on my terms..in my time..my way. The blessings that I have are so often taken for granted. I don't think I am a selfish or self-centered person. I work hard and I play hard. I use my talents and abilities to help those around me whenever I can. I care about people and I want to help, to fix things and "make it better". I feel that I am entitled to that opportunity. As a part of my maturing process in the last few years, I have come to understand, that I am not entitled to help someone else. Often I have to earn the right to even be a part of their life, and I expect the same of others.

Relationships that are ordained seems to be shallow and unfulfilling. The important ones are the ones where we earn each other's trust. The question of how and why we choose to do that is a whole other subject.

Family Guy...

...PB AND J!! I love this, thanks Joce for showing it to me!

Watch This

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I rarely, no, wait never..

...post anything first or controversial, but this...I haven't seen, www.godtube.com and I have to say. I'm scurred, I saw this video and I was like WTF? First of all Kendall I'm sorry, no offense or anything but just needed to say what I had to say on this. First of all, "you can choose life or you can choose death?" um, I choose life...oooooh but if I don't choose Jesus, then I'm dead k, got it. They gonna talk about how "Mohamed can't set you free, Buddha can't set you free, but only Jesus can" ok come on now...isn't that a BIT opportunistic? I mean talk about recruiting! Then they are going to say the Devil is going to Hell, um isn't he the landlord? In my culture there is no devil or hell, then they say "but the Devil doesn't care if you're Buddhist or a Jehovah Witness, he just doesn't want you to be a born again Christian". So um, all you Buddhist and Jehova's...you cool...you going to Heaven, he don't want your souls. Then they say "we are living for God" no, no I'm not...God guides me (or whatever higher power you have) but He guides me and my life is free will, my life is mine given to me by my higher power. Then they do say "you're sins can be as white as snow"...ok, they come in colors? I hope mine are a rainbow. Anyways watch the video, express yourself...I honestly believe modern religion will fold upon it's self and collapse. Just like the Druids, most of the Wiccans and other religions that didn't have a PR rep did. I think there are more vids from these two, but really, I heard all I needed. ;-) peace (oh and when I say peace, I mean it, no strings attached).



..oh, and I would so DO the guy in the hat. :-D

Boston Legal

Ok, so I'm getting ready to put on a DVD 'cause they are backing up because of my addiction to TV, so before I put it in...I see Boston Legal on. I see Candice Bergen on the screen and I love her! So I watch and now, I just watched the whole damn show!! I am never going to get these DVD's, but I liked Boston Legal, it was smart, sexy and funny. Tonight's episode dealt with a soldier who did 30 years in the military and then came out (it was MEANT for me to become a Boston Legal fan) and Candice (or her character actually) just gave the best monologue about living in America and how we are supposed to be this Democratic superpower but of all the countries involved with NATO just us and Turkey discriminate gays in the military. It was really good. So now *sigh* I have another show I must watch. LOL I am so lazy...hope everyone is having a good week! ;-) peace

back, forward, back, forward

Tracee and I are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this week. Quite a milestone..I think.
I am hung up on where I have been, and where I am going...

MY THOUGHTS:
" There's a light at each end of this tunnel, You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to... And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to...

SOCIETY & CULTURE SAYS:
"But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button now."

GOD SAYS:
"Sing it if you understand. and breathe, just breathe oh, breathe, just breathe"
From... ANNA NALICK: BREATHE(2AM)


I have been lecturing to Bel Canto for the last two weeks: "the breath is the power plant... If you can control the breathing, you can do great things..."


I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13

Psalm 46:
A Song of the Sons of Korah

1-3 God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains.
Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.
4-6 River fountains splash joy, cooling God's city,
this sacred haunt of the Most High.
God lives here, the streets are safe,
God at your service from crack of dawn.
Godless nations rant and rave, kings and kingdoms threaten,
but Earth does anything he says.
7 Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.
8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
breaks all the weapons across his knee.
"Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
loving look at me, your High God,
above politics, above everything."
11 Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

It's All About the Eyes...

...been awhile since I posted some pretty eyes. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!!

Small Town Gay Bar...

...I just saw this documentary tonight. It was really really good! Kevin Smith produced it. It was sad, it was funny it makes me happy I live in Cali. It's about two small gay bars in rural Mississippi. Like really small towns! If you watch it, the gays there are so happy to have some place to go, it's like mecca for them. Um, I got like 10 places to go right now if I wanted to kick it with gay people. It kind of took me back to my teens when I was coming out, that feeling of acceptance. Only these people were not teens. Amazing how there are still gays out there who are not out to their friends and parents. That really sounded lame, but I've been in Cali since I was 13, when I came out. If you can, watch it...it's on Netflix. ;-) peace

Wagon Wheel...

Ok think of a wagon wheel...there is the center, that's me...and then the spokes..that's all my friends. Ok, I know a lot of people but they don't know each other, they may know OF each other but I don't have a group of friends. So tonight I was so upset, I posted this IM to friend (one of many) ok, I'm not mad. I'm not mad because my roomie got Kings tickets 4th row for tonights game from her GM at work. I'm not mad that she is a "on the bandwagon" fan. I'm not mad that her boyfriend doesn't even like Basketball and once said the Kings were a sissy team. SO I'M NOT MAD THAT SHE GOT THOSE TICKETS AND TOOK HIS SCRAGGLY MARRIED ASS TO THE GAME INSTEAD OF ME! I'm not mad, and I'm not going to say anything. Then she has the nerve to say to him "oh the gay is jealous"

Ok, after all that...she left me a B'day card in August before she left to London and it basically said, we will celebrate when I get back! Ok, cool...um...tonight would have been a GREAT b'day present! But she has a boyfriend now (who is not even a Kings fan) but girls are stupid. That's what I have to remember, um..yeah...that's what I have to remember. ;-) peace

Bionic Woman!

Does anyone else watch it? I think it gets better each week, although I think the blonde is a scene stealer and it's more about her. Which is cool 'cause ya know it get boring when it's just about ONE person all the time. Ok, time for Dirty Sexy Money! Lawd, I need a life... ;-) peace

Happy Columbus Day...NOT!!

LOL, I love this...maybe it's 'cause I'm Native American? Naw...he's still funny!!

Happy Columbus Day

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Songs of Sunday

Ok, I know it's past Sunday (technically) but this is the first time I got a chance to blog. Ok so the first song is Silverchair's "Straight Lines" I love this song. The lead singer is hella hot! Look at those eyes! Ok now the second song is also Silverchair...um does he look different? Like he got some work did?? Anyways, hope everyone has a great week! ;-) peace



Ok now does he look the same?? Or is he just younger? but not as hot and not as hairy and not as sexy? Hmm...

Lindsay Lohan

Here is what I know about Lindsay Lohan...Fire Crotch, alkie, druggie, spoiled hollywood princess. Really, that's all I know, I never saw her movies, I think she had a song I liked. Well tonight I rented Georgia Rule with Jane Fonda, Felicity Huffman and Lindsay, it was really good. Here is where people can really be judgmental, I think of Lindsay as skanky ho (and maybe she is) but as an actress, she is really good. Oh, and I will lose my gay card over this...but she's hot! I think it's her husky voice. For my first "exposure" to Lindsay, I can just say...what a waste, really I hope she gets it together. Not like Brittany who has no talent and lets just let that mess go, I hope Lindsay gets the help she needs. Ok, kinda of a weird post...but felt it had to be said. ;-) peace

Queer Eye?

Is this show still on? I'm flipping and I see the Season Premiere! A Man Pageant? Hmm....straight guys in a pageant but still looking hot. I guess this is the last season of Queer Eye, dang...I missed so much because I thought it was cool like 3 years ago, when I thought it ended. ;-) peace!
Oh...and here is something pretty, 'cause it's been awhile!

Fit in

"Sometimes you have to create that which you wish to be a part of."

quote was used by a senior exec today. It made me thing of Da Capo and reminded me that the creation/catalyst part is VERY challenging. It is far easier to just plug into an existing system, business, job, etc..