Monday, December 12, 2005

Making a difference

November stretches into December.. Christmas is upon me and I wonder if I make a difference in my world. What is special about each of us? so special that God would come down into the world as a man, live as us, among us, and then sacrifice himself for all. The story is so fantastic. The idea that one man can and did make a difference for the rest of us. My world teaches me to rely on myself, and people that I can count on. Yet, even with all I can do, I so often accomplish so little. My existence, is serial, a sequence of events bound by a finite number of interactions with others.

Today, I was amazed and moved by a simple song about Christmas shoes... the song itself a bit tacky, too sensationalist, too emotional.. yet, I was touched in a profound way on the way to work, breaking down in tears. This is VERY uncharacteristic for me. Simply hearing the song colored the remainder of my day.

When I got home from work, I watched the last 30-40 minutes of "The Return of the King".. Frodo epitomizes the struggle of the unknown and the idea that one, with faith, and the support of a fellowship can make a difference.

I go through my days like everyone else.. I do what I do.. playing my many roles. I have gotten better at linking my worlds. Sometimes I am a singer, sometimes a conductor, sometimes a teacher, sometimes a manager, sometimes a technogeek, sometimes a carpenter, sometimes a husband, sometimes a father, always a child seeking to see and remain on the path. My journey progresses a day at a time and no matter who I am today, my actions define me..

I am not special. I seek to love those around me. Sometimes I am better at it than others. When I am judged..as we all will be someday.. I pray that I was true to my calling. I use music and technology to touch those around me. I can make a difference, but only when I give up my sense of self and replace it with humility and service. I use my skills and gifts wherever and whenever I am provided the opportunity. I shouldn't seek praise and recognition but I do... My passions and actions are so easily led astray.. Lord, help me to remain in you.


I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

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