...kinda. :-)
Ok, so...last year was difficult...I had bad panic attacks, anxiety etc. I'm better now, oh so way better that the past year seems like a bad memory. In the course of six months I had to let go of two friends that I have known for so long. One was my friend of 16 years, but we just grew apart and the relationship was toxic and I just couldn't handle it anymore. Yeah she will say it's because she wants to be a dude but it really wasn't the transgen thing, I just felt that every time we talked it was conflict, it was tedious and it was exhausting. So I let her go. Then (if you read earlier in my blog) my best friend of 24 years, lied. He lied about him having cancer and he lied to his mom who bought him a trip to Hawaii, he has always been "about him" and trying to get attention but this was the last straw. I mean I just moved in with my aunt and cousin, my aunt has terminal cancer we are talking a few months. My ex best friend knew this and yet he continued his facade, he continued to lie and he continued to play my emotions as well as his family. I'm not sure about anyone else, but um, this sucks...two people I have depended on for so many years are no longer there. Yes it was my decision to let them go, but I had to, for my own peace of mind. Now when I pick up the phone to talk to someone, it's hard to realize, they are not them anymore. On top of that, living with my aunt who has cancer is kinda tough, she is fading faster than we thought she would. The job is going well, busy...first of the year so new deadlines and projects. It keeps me sane actually :)
My sister the drug addict has been evicted blah blah blah, I could go on. The one thing that I really want to post in this blog..is I'm ok. I really am, yeah I hurt and it sucks about my two ex best friends and watching my aunt fade before me, but ya know what? I have come to terms with all that, I really have. I think now I just feel the sting. Ya know, someone you knew your whole life and now is intent on destroying you but yet he was unprovoked. The sting that someone you thought would always be there for you, yet you can't even relate to them anymore. That was 2007 though, I let it go and I look forward to 2008 and all that it will contain, I know it will be a be a good year! I hope everyone has a great 2008, I know I will.
Oh, and um I got some hot guys to post, it will be soon. :) peace!
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