To go or not to go...

We didn't go to church this morning largely because I needed a break from commitments for a bit. I don't know if this was the right choice but it was the one we made.

We had a great time with the Wilsons last night getting to know another family with a lot of children(5) same age as ours. It is so refreshing to talk through challenges, and issues and experiences with others. I wonder what people without lots of kids even talk about these days. I think it is possible that I live in a different "universe" from them. I feel like the invisible guy in HEROES, walking around the city but not really participating directly in the machine, the social system.

Our family is going to the movies this afternoon. For us, this is a big deal. We almost never go out to the movies because the cost is so prohibitive for a family of 6. DVDs and on-demand is cheaper across the board plus we get to leverage our big screen TV better. Somehow, that makes me feel better about the investment in something that is so indulgent.

The movies represent this attempt to escape reality. My problem is no matter how far I go out of reality, I know I have to come back. The awareness is like an anchor for me. I'm not sure if that is good or bad.
I long for a time when I could go to a movie and be totally lost for the 2 hours, or listen to music without deconstructing its form and performance practice or even attend a worship service without thinking "critically" about the flow, content, themes and impact.

Curse of growing older? maturity? or is it some protracted state of psychosis? Who knows...

Isaiah 40:21-31
Have you not been paying attention? Have you not been listening? Haven't you heard these stories all your life? Don't you understand the foundation of all things? God sits high above the round ball of earth. The people look like mere ants. He stretches out the skies like a canvas— yes, like a tent canvas to live under. He ignores what all the princes say and do. The rulers of the earth count for nothing. Princes and rulers don't amount to much. Like seeds barely rooted, just sprouted, They shrivel when God blows on them. Like flecks of chaff, they're gone with the wind.
"So—who is like me? Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies: Who do you think made all this? Who marches this army of stars out each night, counts them off, calls each by name —so magnificent! so powerful!— and never overlooks a single one?
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, "God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.