Today's Weather...

...was cool, cloudy and a lil bit nippy! Please don't tell me summer is over quite yet! Well then again, October is almost here... ;-) peace

Heroes!

...just got done watching it and I love it!! I wanna see that cute boy fly, and what's up with the girl and the mirrors? What is HER superpower...or...evolutionary advancement?? I think guys (even gay guys) will love this show. I love X-men, The Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon etc. I love the feeling that if I try hard enough maybe *I* could have those talents. I think girls may like it also, because the two chicks on this show so far...have some wicked powers. I need to find a new term, not powers...talents! Yeah, talents! In any case, this show is good and has potential...I dunno about the Japanese guy teleporting and stopping time, but...who knows. You can check out more of Heroes by clicking...on Heroes.
And of course...there is eye candy! ;-) peace

He looks so familiar! Kind of like a young Scott Bakula.


He is so hot! BEAUTIFUL eyes...and you know he's hairy...he's hot!


He's just sexy!

Choose

Bert's sermon at HRBC this morning was all about relationships, prayer and choice. He focused on relationship with God, but the rules extend far beyond that to other applications. Prayer enables communication which enables relationship. With relationships and communication, we learn about each other. We begin to care, our emotions take over and we become passionate. The roller coaster ride of every relationship begins...Some days are better than others. Some things easier than others. With those relationships, and emotion comes personal risk as well as opportunity.

We choose how to respond. We choose whether or not to trust in a power greater than us. We choose to believe the best in those around us or dwell on the worst. Choosing God is not about making the easy choice. It is about making the right choice. That choice brings the refining fire, the pruning of our person.. and the intense growth thereafter. The refiner's fire purifies and positions me for the future, but it does burn. Pruning isn't pleasant, warm, fuzzy, or politically correct but it is necessary.

"Coming together is a beginning...
Keeping together is progress...
Working together is success..." Sermon:Dr. Bert Browning 1/29/06

Whether we are talking about a relationship with my next door neighbor, my life community, my choir, or my God. Those statements remain accurate. The coolest things about it all... God is always there waiting patiently for me to choose him...That isn't true of my earthly relationships, but God is always there, always loving me. Amazing love, how can it be...

"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:14-15

It's All about The Eyes

got a job, start monday...I'm exhausted with CA already! ;-)
peace

Pleaser

I was told once by a close friend that all ministers are pleasers at heart. We desire to make others happiers and help to improve their life. So, if I believe all of us are called to ministry through our personal identities.. (helper, musician, carpenter, teacher, manager, leader, pastor, administrator, cleaner) then it stands to reason that ministry is one of those elemental forces like music that has ties into everything else that I do. We can all do it, but it should be a choice. We are ministers, the question is how we choose to act and what we do with who we are.

Doing versus being are very different things. I began a new small group this week with men I barely know.(participating, not leading) As we got to know one another, I shared about myself and then I asked them who they are. It was a difficult question for each of us. My natural inclination is to answer instead with what I do, not who I am.

I am a musician. I am a family man.

If I am confident in who I am then I can explicitly choose to DO all kinds of things.
I can help people, or not.
I can sing or not.
I can be nice, or not.
I can be safe, or not.
I can build or I can tear down.

I know I haven't tied all of these ideas together very well this morning, but somehow by writing them down, it helps me. This is what I am thinking about. I will try to tie this back to some scripture later...I know it is there, the references elude me right now.

Ideas welcome... haven't had a comment in a long time but I hope someone is still reading. I keep writing regardless.

Still no job!

...ok the one job I had lined up fell through...so I'm still looking. I've been here almost a month already and nothing. I know, I know...things will turn around. I have a couple of good leads, so we shall see. The weather has been nice, I like fall in CA, I heard there was some snow already in S. Dakota. Not going to miss digging my car out in the mornings that's for sure!
;-)
peace

It's My Party...

...remember that movie with Eric Roberts, Gregory Harrison and Margaret Cho (and some other fine actors also). Well, back in the mid 90's when every gay film you found was about AIDS, I didn't want to see them. Yes I know, sticking my head in the sand but I just couldn't. I've never seen Philadelphia or Boys in the Band, it was just to difficult for me, I didn't want to associate that being gay meant I was going to get AIDS. Of course, that's not what it means...but at that time, it seemed only gay people were getting the disease. Well my friend ANGELA tricked me and told me it was a comedy...lawd that bitch was dirty...I cried my fuckin ass off! I sobbed, I sobbed like when I was a baby and nobody changed my diapers AND I was hongry!! I sobbed. So to this day...when she suggests a movie I IMDB it first!! Well she sent me a video to watch on youtube about gay rights. So I watched it...and once again, I cried. I have to post it, it's a good vid and it's important. Don't get me wrong, I'm no activist or pushing any gay rights agenda...just leave me alone and let me live my life is my thing...but this IS a good vid. So here it is, oh that bitch made me cry again...but it was worth it. The song is called No lies, Just Love by Bright Eyes and it was posted by CJbojangles (aka Chris Lewis) great job.
;-) peace

I still love him...

...Joseph Sayers that is...normally that would read Brad Pitt but ya know, after the break up n all...! so here are some more pics of him that I found that may be old to you but new to me. Oh I found a job, a good one, so I'm happy but I'm missing my friends in Rapid City,SD. Ok, we KNEW this would happen...just a bit of "home" sickness. Life is good. Peace ;-)

Launch

Last night was the "official" launch of the Da Capo institute in public. Our concert/open house was an inspiring event. It was our first musical mission statement to our community. We were transparent, we took risk, we put our self "out there" and showed our community what we are about. This event was an expression of loving and living. We as musicians shared who we are with "our" community. We have begun a mission to plug people into a musical world

The audience had some folks from HRBC and some close friends, but it was largely made up of people that we didn't know. It was exhilarating to make contacts with our community. People we didn't know were excited by our vision.

I wish more of my friends and neighbors from Roxshire, HRBC and Branch's had been able to attend. I know that it was a Friday night in Sept, but I think that it is hard for people who know us to make the leap to view us as performers. My sense is that they are overwhelmed and maybe even intimidated by our connection to elite classical performance music. They are so indoctrinated by the history of elitist behavior... They are not willing to make the committment, to step out of the old ways of interacting with performers. It will take time and repeated committment from Da Capo to overcome this "tradition".

This is our challenge...to engage with people we don't know and break down the walls. We are here to give musicians a channel to engage and give back to their community without pretense or expectation. We are who we are. I hope our friends commit with us, but it is not a requirement.

God has blessed our offering already. I believe that he will continue to assist us. We must keep the channel open and let him direct us.

Fidelity in communication

The copy or iteration should be as close to the original as possible. This theme is central to a management course I am in this week on strategic leadership. The message from the top, must be the same one heard all the way down the chain. Wow, that is harder than anyone thinks.

Inject some passion and email.. and BLAM.. recipe for a nuclear explosion.

Danger Will Robinson !

Message.. if you can talk face to face, or on the phone ANY time emotion is involved even mildly.. DO IT! Don't take the lazy way out and use email. You will be sorry. I learned this a few years ago, but it sure is good to have it refreshed.

Today's Weather...

...is going to be HOT as heck! I really wouldn't mind going to the river or the lake today, but the job search must go on.
peace!

Intersection and Integration

I am the intersection and integration point for the biggest network I know. We spend our lives trying to build systems that create networks. We call it communicating and community. In the IT world, how well you handle the intersections and integration combined with scalability and reliability are the keys to your success. It is not so different with my "social" networks. Da Capo is a mechanism for me to reconnect and build new networks within a more localized geography, connecting specifically musicians.


hmmmm.. could be a lot of thinking here if I apply this social networking principle to my other networks as well. I will have to think on whether there is application in building other communities of practice. Monastic communities have a long history in our world. The trick is to keep the scale small enough to remain relevant and still maintain value without becoming exclusionary. There is a huge lesson in there for today's churches...

I don't always want to connect with everyone in the world, much less communicate. That is natural I think. Keeping a network manageable is a huge undertaking. Telecommunication terms like least cost routing, error correction, dynamic routing, static routing, access control lists, firewall, and local exchange company versus private branch exchange bring up metaphors that are interesting when applied to people. People must intersect and integrate, but we have to do it intelligently, respectfully, and with forgiveness because we all make mistakes. Networks have to scale. Am I a server, a switch, a router, a database, or an access device like a desktop or laptop.

I have spent a lot of time on a site called Classical Lounge in the last week. I found friends from my time in the music world which I wish I had remained in touch with. Maybe I will make some new "connections"

People I am pround to have studied and learned with and from...I don't intersect with these people any more.. what a shame...My connections weren't reliable enough to survive the past 10 years.

Sari Gruber
Caren Levine
Hee Kyung Juhn
Lester Lynch
Scott Dettra
Sarah Pelletier
Karen Lindstedt
Steven Condy
Kyle Pfortmiller
Brad Diamond
Edie Yeager
Elem Eley
Diana Crane
Mark Husey
David Newman
Maurice Boyer
Andy Hoke

This list is so much longer than I can remember right now. By writing it down, perhaps I can enable better reconnections with these people. The network won't rebuild itself. Do I want it badly enough to accept that many of these people will reject me now. I am ready and willing to risk it? Is this a self serving exercise in trying to recapture a person and persona that I no longer AM? The truth is in there somewhere.


If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. --Philippians 2:1 (The Message)


Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
--James 3:17 (The Message)

Still looking for work...

...ok, was CA the BEST move for me? (more on that later)Ok I'm so in debt (because of this trip), no cell phone (it died on the way here) car is running "funny" (ran great in S. Dakota) and um, no job yet. Oh my roomie got offended because I said I didn't like the neighborhood where we lived she was upset. I understand, but it works for her and ultimately this is her place. I'm just used to walking everywhere from where I used to live and now I'm in the middle of nowhere. I really didn't mean to offend her, just not the place *I* would have chose. This is a *great* place for her 'cause it's closer to her job. I'm sure things will get better once I get a job. Peace. ;-)
Oh and for all of you who think I should be greatful, I am. BUT this was my SECOND choice, I could have moved where ever I wanted, but i wanted to help her out and also...I think it'll be fun. Once my mood changes. Which I'm sure it will. ;-)

RuPaul...

...ok I know she's like so 1992 but that bitch is still fierce! I went and saw her last night at the Rainbow Festival here in Sacramento. Ok, I RARELY do gay events, I don't really care for the whole gay thing, gay pride, gay bars etc. Now, when I was younger I wanted to make a difference and all that, but now I just want to be left alone and enjoy life. So, last night was my first gay "festival" in about 5 years, I was soooo the hick and out of towner. I was just staring at people, I'm sure people thought I was rude, but hey...TWO MEN KISSING IN PUBLIC! LOL ok, not a big deal but remember I've been in South Dakota for the past two years...big difference. In any case, I had fun, I had a great time with my friend Estevan and I'm so glad he took me out and showed me a good time. When is the next gay event I'll be attending?...um, not one for a long long while, I think I got my fill.
peace

It's All About the Eyes

Been awhile since I've posted some pretty eyes, so today you get 2. ;-)
peace