Questions, no answers

Lately, I have a lot more questions than answers... I sang at Monument Heights Baptist this AM at the invitation of Randy Clipp and it was wonderfully refreshing. Tracee and I both remarked at how comfortable it felt although we really knew almost noone in that congregation. The urge to seek out a new congregation to serve is overwhelming, but my instinct tells me that it is not the correct time just yet. Monument Heights seems to be doing so much right...Is that a church model that provides a template for the type of place that Tracee and I could step in?
If I am right about my ministry being centered around my singing... How does that fit into a new congregational music ministry.. ?
What is it about HRBC that seems to keep us from totally "connecting"? The Sunday school class is great, and the preaching is wonderful, but something is missing in relationships with the other musicians....What is it?
In a new "emerging" church model, how do I fit my traditional experience in and help to get people "on fire" for impacting their community.. not just building their church...? Am I assuming too much responsibility here..should I be just stepping back and allowing the holy spirit to work through me and the church...
What role does Tracee's passion for working with children, families and music play into this mix...?
Do we have to find a church where we can both be on staff?
Do I have to be a leader to be effective and fulfill my calling? how about Tracee?
How does the baptism by the holy spirit versus redemption come into play?..that theme continues to reoccur in life, sermons and sunday school conversations, not to mention my readings.
Can a Baptist church have a real arts program dedicated to excellence in the arts and music, or will the historic tradition always lend itself to being just "good enough"? Translate that last one to.. Should we just give up on our Baptist heritage and seek a music position in a Presbyterian or Methodist congregation..?

If you are reading this blog regularly and have any ideas about "answers" please take a few minutes and write down your thoughts.. It would be tremendously helpful to us.
How do you answer these questions for yourself?

In the dark...

...can you believe I got my electricity turned off?? Yes, I did. See I was supposed to pay it on the 1st of August, but I was in California at the time. When I got back and found out I wasn't going to get paid for the two weeks I was gone, well that sent me into a panic and I just totally forgot about the electricity arrangement. So I get a notice in the mail that I have a certified letter, and I put it on my shelf with all my other mail and promptly forget about it. Well yesterday I went home at lunch and noticed my power was off. Nothing new, they are working on the poles down the alley from me. So I'm walking out and I notice the notice for the 100th time. So I pick it up and stick it in my pocket because I actually have to go to the Post Office for work anyways. Well I get there and I notice it's from BHP. Black Hills Power...oh oh, coincidence?? I think not. Sure enough I missed the deadline by 5 days! So of course I'm furious at myself for being lazy but what can I do, that's me. IN any case, I have a great reason to go kick it at The Rail with my friends now :-).
It should get turned back on tomorrow.
Oh and one more thing...HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUZ!!!
hugz to all

Recovery

Large parties can be accomplished... True, we had more folks than we had originally anticipated, but even with a group of 90-100 the event yesterday went off wonderfully. It was a privilege to to get to see so many friends and hopefully, the neighbors won't vote us "off the island"

Memories I want to remember..
1. Cars everywhere.. up and down both sides of the street.
2. Huge choir surrounding me and singing Happy B'day.. what a blessing.
3. Lloyd and Charles sitting at the table talking..the LSMF VIP table in the kitchen
4. HOT HOT HOT.. even in the shade, it was sweltering.. but people came anyway..
5. Talking about XML and server options with Bob and George..
6. Graham's comment.. "well it was going to be hot, no matter where I was.. might as well come over here and be hot with people I like"
7. Diversity of the food, from Scotch eggs, to egg rolls, to macaroni and cheese, to pasta dishes, to deviled eggs, to potato salad, fried chicken... ALL GREAT...
8. Tara typing on the computer as we tried to get a mail merge to work printing name labels..
9. Talking about the fence with Lance
10. John putting in the horseshoe stakes.. which noone played with because it was too hot...
11. Terry making the hotdogs in the kitchen...
12. Mr D carrying the cake...
13. Kish's showing up "right on Kish time", and the goodbye hug from Nathan...
14. Hugs from everyone in general.. dry and sweaty ones..
15. James being chased around the house by naked Barbie dolls.. "loved his hair.."
16. Talking to Joe about returns at the Lowes.. always takes 2-3 trips, and he says it is easier when wearing a police uniform..
17. Hangin with the "Croakers".. gotta love typos like that
18. Firesheets' neighborhood tour on the way to the house.. the entire neighborhood..
19. Jerry missed singing Happy B'day..guess we need a personal engagement for that one.
20. Andy rocking Emily in the sun room, please go to sleep.. please
21. The luxury, reclining, fold up lawn chair that Captain Ford sat in.. everybody wants one of those.

We feel truly blessed.. and to think we still have so many folks we would like to see.. those reunions are for the days ahead.. No reason to live in the past..

Live for the future that God provides.. plans to prosper us, not harm us.

Sunrise

Couldn't sleep.. Today is the day of our big party... Feels like we are starting our "new" life. Funny we have been starting for 6 months now, but somehow assembling friends, family, neighbors, and even coworkers in a big celebration setting may provide the context for moving ahead. I am reforming my community and beginning to assemble my own base of operations to move out into the larger regional community and make a difference.

Pray for us that we can find the right pace to maintain family, but be true to our ministry calling to bear witness to the world of God's love for us.

My adrenaline is so high.. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.. I really can't wait to see all of the folks from Branch's and just help in connecting people. This is what I love..

Thank you Lord for allowing me to wake up today!

It's official...

...I am now registered for college. Finally, I moved back here to go to school and almost a year later, it's finally happening. My classes are Lakota 1, Music Appreciation (my fluff class), International Business and Algebra. It seems kind of like a lot, so we shall see how it goes. I went to the campus yesterday and did my orientation and all that. So I only have about a week of fun before classes start then it's time to hit the books and get this shit over with.
Today is kind of chilly, over cast with the sun peeking through at times. I really like the weather here. That's all I have to Blog today, I'm working to catch up on a lot stuff that came up while I was in CA.
Laterz

Surprise

Tracee pulled it off.. a whole weekend, where I didn't know what was coming.. a special b'day present away from the kids.. only word is WOW.. First we drove for what seemed like forever.. then had a great time with friends(Ang and David) north of Baltimore.. then dinner at the ESPNZone in Baltimore..food was okay, games were pricey, but the fellowship with friends was priceless... Then we split up and went to the hotel...pool water was too cold, but the hot tub was nice...

Got up Sunday AM to find that we were going to worship at Cedar Ridge Community Church, this is the church where Brian Mclaren is pastor.. I got to meet and talk with Brian about his ministry and mine.. and then we took his Worship pastor Jimi Calhoun to lunch.. What a treat, his wife Julain came, as well as 2 friends... Eric and Wendy.. It was wonderfully validating to hear others who think like I do.. Thank You Jimi, Julain, Eric, and Wendy.

Most of all thanks to Tracee for a great weekend.. Click here for some proof.. we actually did leave the kids for the weekend, and we really did meet Brian Mclaren

Action: they all seemed to think that we(Tracee and I) need to start a church...I am still not so sure about that one, but it is hard to argue with so many great mentors. Regardless.. the best advice was to be true to self... seek what I am great at.. use it to further what I am good at, and Most Importantly

Bear Witness to God's love and impact on my life.. Tell my story.. the good parts and the bad.

BTW.. any of you wondering... Brian Mclaren is the real deal.. not arrogant, not ego driven, He is a humble servant of God..seeking to use who he is to make a difference in the world around him. Cedar Ridge is a testament to God, NOT to Brian..

Summary...
1. Even Type A personalities can be surprised, and have a lot of fun when they have no control..
2. Tell your stories to your kids.. successes and failures.. they need to hear both.

New Books to read: Will our children have faith? John Westerhoff

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY...

...I'm the big XX this year, I can't believe it. I'M OLD!! It's finally happened, I'm like what the kids on skateboards are talking about! Pretty soon I'll be clipping coupons and eating dinner at 4pm in time to watch Roseanne on TNT before I retire at 8pm!! *gasp* what if I call someone Sonny!! or worse, someone calls me an old fogey...do people even use those terms anymore? Not to mention that being a gay man AND old, is like a double strike. I'm officialy a troll! ugh! am I? no I think that's 50...40? Well I'm close enough! Pretty soon young guys will be hitting me on thinking I'm a sugar daddy! Well they got a surprise coming.
In addition to my birthday, school is also on the horizon for me, I'm very excited about that. Fall is approaching our lovely state and the season will soon be changing. I'm content.
OH yeah, I forgot to mention in my last blog that at the Rally, I saw a woman taking pics on different bikes with her hoo hoo showing!! OH my.
Well my co-workers are calling me for cake, so I best get to eating!
Oh my birthday goal (kind of like a new years) is to get in shape for next summer. That is my goal, so pretty soon my blogs will be angry and hateful as I withdraw from beer, cigs and food that's bad for me!! But then I'm hoping after the first 10lbs are gone, I will be just one BIG RAY OF SUNSHINE...again!
;-)

What a hectic three weeks

...I'm not sure where I could even start. In a sad sad circumstance I went back to California two weeks ago. One of my cousins passed away while some of my other cousins were here in S. Dakota on vacation. It was a really hard trip back. I'm glad that I went though, I felt I needed to be there.
Trying to get back here was insane! Reno had their hot august nights going on this weekend and my bus was always full or late and it just sucked. So I ended up driving back with my brother, we made it in 22 hours. Ugh! I was so tired when I got back, but I'm glad to be home. California is not for me anymore, I was depressed being back there, it's hot and dirty and to many people. I don't know, I mean I lived there for years and I liked it well enough, but being here is so much more... cleaner? laid back? yes I think I would have to use those terms. There is no place like Cali though, that I will admit.
I'm back now, work is chugging away, I'm waiting to register for school next week. Life moves on and I'm moving with it I guess. I went to the Sturgis Rally where there are like a bazillion motorcycles (and yet very few hot men) although if you want to see an older biker chick in a thong, Sturgis is the place to be this week. Although don't expect anything like the models in Low Rider magazine :-)
Oh yeah, my birthday is this week also, I'm so not even excited, no money to do anything. Oh well, just another day.
Until later
p-)

Context, Perspective, Action

I am sticking with my thinking that community is the key to revolutionizing our culture and society for the better. In my experience, that starts with family...plus we had a family reunion this weekend. Interesting thing this year, was my host of emotions.. I was really glad to see everyone, but I realized how little I know about most of them.. even the closest relatives.

Relationships are predicated on context and perspective associated with purpose and action. I grew up with my cousins, we spent time together all the time, but I barely know them. We mostly have kids now, or are married, or graduating/graduated from college.. all of that provides context, but even in a reunion setting, it is hard to actually learn about one another's lives.

Far easier to give the cursory hugs, whether I remember your name or not...smile and laugh and then go about my business of my "regular" life. Kind of the way we mostly do church these days. As long as we make an appearance, and do what is expected, we don't have to really give of ourselves.

People are messy.. I don't like all of my family members, I am proud of some, ashamed of some, irritated with some, want help from some, desire affirmation from some, and desperately want to be closer to most all of them.. but in our world... Maybe they feel that way, maybe they don't...

My call is to simply love them as they are, understanding the context and perspective of our relationships, and take action to bring my life and my family closer to theirs.. When I am rejected, it is also my job to keep on trying and not get depressed about the "rejection".. If I remember the context and perspectives of our conversations and relationships.. most of my family members are probably feeling exactly like me..

not sure how to really connect anymore...
not always willing to risk exposing their failures and flaws...
not sure that I'll actually still want to be around them...
not sure if our relationship even warrants enough priority to pursue..

People are the MOST IMPORTANT thing...
1. work to build contexts for regular interaction. (parties, dinner, work)this is decidedly non-trivial and requires real work, committment, and time...
2. be aware of different perspectives(we are all at different places in our days, weeks, family development, careers, lives) judging is a waste of time in the end.

ideas.. maybe turn the TV off and call a friend or family member every week a couple of times.. ask about their lives, days, etc.. don't depend on email.. make a plan to reach out to family and friends.. and then DO IT!

if we build communities when we don't need them, then they will be there when we do need them... and I believe that eventually we will all end up in a situation where we need friends and family.. and a "community" or maybe a bunch of them...