Split Pea Soup...

...I made it. It was good. When I lived in Germany my ex's mother made this soup and I'm told it was split pea (because it was green, but surely there has to be other green soups). In any case, it was delicious! I think it had ham in it and you added this liquid they called liquid smoke and it was just the best. Along with the soup she made this salad but I don't remember how it was made. It had dark green leaves and diced onions and sugar, yes sugar but it was delicious. Okay maybe I do how it was made, but I feel like I'm missing an ingredient. Through out the years I've often wondered if I could replicate that soup and salad. Well...I can't. Although my soup was good, no one told me split peas made you gassy, really gassy!!
I fell asleep on the night I made it and my mom called to wake me up and let me know my sister had made it to her hotel room in Reno on her trip back from S.D. and it was almost 2 a.m. and I was ravenous!! I was like, oh yeah I have that soup I made still on the stove. I ate three bowls. A handful of Jalapeno pringles and a slice of cheese. My stomach bloated up instantaneously!! I freaked out. I mean, I looked like I had swallowed a basketball..or two. It tasted so good though. When I woke up the next morning, while I won't go into details, I will say the pea soup was leaving my body in a rather fast way. I smelled like peas. It was like coming out of my skin! I burped peas, farted peas! The smell was nasty, it smelled like cut grass!! I was so self conscious, I didn't want anyone around me in case they found out I had pigged out on split pea soup, I'm sure they could tell. How could you not? I smelled like an alfalfa field!! I washed and washed my hands but they still smelled like peas, it was infuriating and frustrating. Then the stomach cramps started, oh lawd, how they started. The thought of eating split pea soup made me gag. How could something so good make me feel so bloated and uncomfortable?? Did I miss something, did I forget an ingredient? Too much garlic? Was the smoked bacon bad? What??!! Was it because I ate at two in the morning and ate like my fluffy friends at a buffet?? what??
In any case, it's been two days and I can only faintly smell peas now and the burping has subsided but that was a rough two days.
My next project is going to be fried rice, my ASIAN (she hates when I refer to her like that, I do it because of that:) friend gave me the recipe but you know what? There is no frying involved. For years we have been misled that fried rice...well...is fried. It's not...oh well...I just hope it doesn't make me bloat for two days! :-)