People drive so fast...

...seriously, I feel like such a hick since I got back. People drive so crazy and fast, if you do the speed limit, it's like you will get ran over and a ticket for driving to slow!! Insane. It's huge here and so many people, guess I've been gone a long time. Still looking for a job, only been a couple of days so far. The car is running great, my brother fixed it and it's like a whole new car now. Thank goodness for that! Been getting in touch with people and making plans to go out and do things, will feel better once I am employed though. I've applied at restaurants and for some office positions. Not really wanting to go back into the office, but I'm broke so I have to take what comes my way. The best thing? Everyone noticing how much weight I've lost! My mom even said I was anorexic, it was great, then she proceeded to fix me the biggest sandwich ever! LOL
peace

I'm back mothafuckas!

Ok, since I got back to Cali (tonight at midnight actually), my ghettoness has come out...what I meant to say was...it's so lovely being here...again. No, it's not. Ok first, I lost the key to my car in windover Nevada, where I was stranded for three days ($245.00). So I finally got someone to make me a key (for a $125!) and then an hour after I left Windover, muffler blew the pipe out of manifold. I am so not shitting you (see how I cuss more since I've been here??). So I found a guy in Winnemucca, NV to "kind of fix it" my car now sounds like a 1970 Volkswagon Beetle, but I made it home ($95). I love our new place, it's great. I can't really drive my car so I'm way in debt and stranded, but hey, good to be home!! Now I warned you all I was going to bitch, to much traffic, to many people...to many rude people. I miss the nice quiet part of living in South Dakota blah blah...and it's all true. I'm hoping I made the right decision. On the other hand, I didn't wear a shirt all the way home and three truckers honked at me! and not the big fat greasy ones! ;-) I guess I'm glad to be here, but my car almost died, I'm broke as shit (see, still the cussin)but I'm here. I guess that's all that really matters. Ain't no place like Cali (AND I use bad English, oy vey!) Soooo...not Jewish.
peace
p.s. Miss Mantoan has this BEAUTIFUL marble cat, but he's such a bitch!!

Inspired

The last two weeks have been special for me. As Da Capo has become a reality, I have been continually inspired by friends, coworkers and community. God has renewed my spirit and my sense of call to ministry through leadership in a secular world. I am here to share God's word...for me defined in music AND scripture. (Bible, prayer, circumstances, church)

Some things that are special and that I want to remember.

* The quiet, intense devotion of my friend Charles and his unwavering spirit even when suffering the loss of his mother Laurie.
* The simple but elegant faith of Ricky.
* The divine inspiration of music as God's creation called out to me by the words of Rev. David Adkins at the Lasker Festival.
* The dedication and work ethic of my "new" friends on the faculty of Da Capo.
* The pure spirit of my children as they pray for their father to have a "good day"...It made a difference!
* God spoke to me through music that I would have normally "written off" as not good enough. The song's name was "unwritten"
* The beautiful email from Lisa validating my experience that God spoke to me. He spoke to her too...He continually speaks to us all.
* Riding the lawnmower and praying for guidance. God put the "Simple Song" text into my mind directly.. God is the simplest of all.
* Terry's comment: we are to be elite but not elitist. It speaks to me directly as Paul did when he said "Be ye separate"... never better, just separate

Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don't squander one bit of this marvelous life God has given us. God reminds us,
I heard your call in the nick of time;
The day you needed me, I was there to help. Well, now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don't put it off; don't frustrate God's work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we're doing. Our work as God's servants gets validated—or not—in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing our best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!2 Corinthians 6:1-13

When we left Branch's in Feb of 2005 I felt abandoned, dimmed, and broken. My sense of calling was somehow cheapened at that time. My support community was devastated. Devotion to family, work and things was what drove me to get through the days. God sustained me in spite of my self pity and How blessed I am for my journey through the refining fire. I understand more fully who I am, how I am to use my music, and why God has blessed me with such seemingly diverse skills.

The passage below is something I found on the web when researching a Great Christian and kept...ARTICLE about AW TOZER

"God discovers Himself to 'babes,'" wrote Tozer, "and hides Himself in thick darkness from the wise and the prudent. We must simplify our approach to Him. We must strip down to essentials and they will be found to be blessedly few.
A. W. Tozer died on Monday, May 12, 1963, almost a week after preaching his last sermon. The pursuit was over, the destination reached. A simple epitaph marks his grave in Akron, Ohio: A. W. Tozer—A Man of God.
The wondrous pursuit of God is more than a legacy. It is a way of life passed on to us that we too might experience what A. W. Tozer lived. Have you begun your pursuit of God?

All Grown Up

I am thinking about the different expectations we have of children versus adults. This line of thinking invariably takes me to the idea of responsibility and accountability. Adults can still have fun, love, learn, live.. but they are bound by the controls of responsibility.

We are responsible(and accountable) to our children, our parents, our friends, our church, our community, our world. Responsibility incorporates knowledge, awareness and action. We are called to authentic, honest action. NOT LIP SERVICE.

- Lip service is lethal
Terry Green at Woodland Hts Baptist church preached on the parable of the two sons and it has remained with me through the week. Permeating everything I have done and all that I have said.

A recent scene from National Treasure strikes me... Nicolas cage reads from and interprets the Declaration of Independence...for his sidekick.. "We have the knowledge and the ability, therefore we have the responsibility to act and throw off the chains of oppression that precede us"

-- This scene clarifies for me that we can and must strive to improve our world when we are "all grown up".. to sit back and consume the resources of the world is to become a parasite on the backbone of society. The transition from child, to youth to adult is paralleled in our educational offerings. We must grow and build musicians with a mindset of responsibility and accountability. They must desire to impact their world in a relevant and tangible manner. One person at a time, one event at a time.. The sum of ALL of our efforts can and will make a difference.

I am responding to my call to music ministry with Da Capo.. Tracee and I are attempting to use music to "change the world". Lord, I pray that you would bless our offering of time and talents and multiply it unto your glory. The direction is so clear... Help us to maintain that clarity of vision and direction as the world seeks to infiltrate your offering in the coming months.

Matthew 21:28-32:
The Story of Two Sons
"Tell me what you think of this story: A man had two sons. He went up to the first and said, 'Son, go out for the day and work in the vineyard.'
"The son answered, 'I don't want to.' Later on he thought better of it and went."The father gave the same command to the second son. He answered, 'Sure, glad to.' But he never went.
"Which of the two sons did what the father asked?" They said, "The first."
Jesus said, "Yes, and I tell you that crooks and whores are going to precede you into God's kingdom. John came to you showing you the right road. You turned up your noses at him, but the crooks and whores believed him. Even when you saw their changed lives, you didn't care enough to change and believe him. 


God speaks through HIS world

Martha Graham quote from Dance to the Piper; Agnes deMille, author

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. And because there is only one you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium…the world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, or how valuable, or how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

Da Capo Musical Message : August 2006

"Music has the ability to strike directly at your emotions. Beauty and passion are central to all of our lives. The ability to create beauty is inside each of us, it just requires some guided exploration and experience to find it and use it."
-Jeff Prillaman



Natasha Bedingfield- Artist
UnWritten – Album

I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can’t live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Breathe(2am)

Important quote.. 2 minutes from the end

jeff says
2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And i feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to

Culture & the world around us says
Cause you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable,
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now

GOD SAYS
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe



Fernando Ortega.. O thou in whose presence

Kyrie from b-minor mass

Breathe says the Lord

WOW.. Holy spirit spoke to me this morning through a song I have heard 50 times before..


For me personally.. lyrics from Anna Nalick song “Breathe(2am)” spoke to me on the work this morning..

This is where I am with Cap1, Da Capo, my life.. Thank you lord for my friends and family…

jeff says
2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And i feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to

Culture & the world around us says
Cause you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable,
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now

GOD SAYS
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe


Psalm 46

A Song of the Sons of Korah

1-3 God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains.
Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.
4-6 River fountains splash joy, cooling God's city,
this sacred haunt of the Most High.
God lives here, the streets are safe,
God at your service from crack of dawn.
Godless nations rant and rave, kings and kingdoms threaten,
but Earth does anything he says.
7 Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.
8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
breaks all the weapons across his knee.
"Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
loving look at me, your High God,
above politics, above everything."
11 Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

Discipline

As Tracee and I have been preparing for a recital in Lasker I have been reminded of how little discipline I have used in my musical preparation in past months.

In project management we have a term called the triple constraint. The variables are scope, schedule and resources. You can not change/affect one without affecting the other two in a material way.

As we practiced for our recital last night, and as I led the choir at HRBC this morning, it became clear to me that a balanced approach is required. The choir did a wonderful job this morning..they understood and embraced passion and applied themselves fully.. but the discipline was lacking. The congregation was not aware of the breakdown, but every member of the choir was...

Some of that was my fault, some was theirs.. regardless.. the end result was an immature but beautiful offering. Thankfully, that was enough. Our goal was not perfection, it was only to strive for greatness...

This line is difficult to walk.. Balancing intention and excellence by using the musician's triple constraint of passion, discipline and application will be the key to my personal success soon.

Balance is the key.

I have not been balanced.. I must intentionally apply myself using the triple constraints model and I can achieve balance.

It's Rally Time...

...So the Sturgis Rally is going to be starting this weekend and when I checked my schedule, I seem to have been made a permanent fixture of the restaurant! Because I never leave!! I'm doing 10 days straight, 12 hour days. Then I get my b'day off (go me!) then I do another 8 days straight. THEN I get to pack up my car and drive back to California! woo hoo! I can't believe it's almost over, back to civilization and culture and art and people who don't say Git R Done. Back to real Mexican food and 24 hour restaurants, like Jocelyn commented on one of my posts, being from Cali rules! Ok so you know I'm going to complain when I get back BUT for now...I'm anxious to go!! Oh and thanks to the people at Beautiful for posting more pics of my man Joseph Sayers, he's so hot! Well maybe, just maybe...the next time I blog it'll be from me and Miss Mantoan's lair in California!!
peace!